Live enjoyment in Peepli

The LIVE word can be construed as live as in live matches or live as we live our lifes.

Peepli Live, most of my friends comprehended, it will be a bore. So what if Aamir Khan is promoting it, it need not be a good movie? And why not Aamir Khan should promote it? He is the producer. When you watch the movie, you realize, you required Aamir Khan to promote this movie? There are interactions, press conferences, you need a face to represent the movie. The posters do reveal a lot about the movie, a poor rural family, few mikes hanging from the top, media swarming from the top, LIVE word in frame and a handpump. So what if the whole caste and the issue is pasted on it? You have little or no idea, how its going to play? One of the rare posters, which captures and narrates the real characters of the movie and summons it at appropriate places.

Take a dig at the other poster pictured below. It a tempu, the mass transporter of rural India. In my native place, it is known as bhoond (Punjabi word for honey bee). It is distastingly painted black with some part of it yellow, may be the front hood or the top part. But the sight of tempu is the same in any part of our truly majestic India, people are hanging from all sides and their daily wares.

Peepli Live is one of the rare movies of Bollywood, which was running without (count it), a named and famed director, no famed actor, no famed actress, no dream sequences, no dances, no item number, no burning issue, no action, no romance, no melodrama, no crying, barely music (definitely can be defined as antonym of musical). What the movie contains? Just the way India was and currently it is progressing. A very nice written and delivered script revolving around a very small incident but a very big issue for India. We should learn to laugh at ourselves that is what director has tried to aim. If you feel ashamed, do something about it? Until then keep laughing at your plight.

Peepli Live is a satire on farmer’s suicide. But I believe, honestly, it is a satire on media and our political system or perhaps the way our country is being run. The moot point the director raises, a farmer may not till his/her land, may not require money/food. All they want is the respect for their lands. We are not able to provide them with a single way of existence, aim, mission, vision and dream of our life.

Media star characters are brilliantly brought to the front. Perhaps a spoof or original cut-outs of Barkha Dutt of NDTV and Chaurasia of AajTak (don’t know if this fellow has switched employers, well must have, we all do). Media is the most creative industry in India. They can make and create a movie and an issue with nobody. This is what they have depicted in the movie. They are trying to address an issue of farmer suicide. Yet it is the last thing, on their mind.

Every character plays to his part with such elegance and poise. The media personnel as they are hogging like dogs and spewing like donkeys. Natha, the real face of the movie, has barely one or two dialogues. But his expressions make his character. I have no idea what is happening in my life, why is it happening and what I am supposed to do about it? Just listens and barely responds. Raghubir Yadav, one of the finest actors in India. The wife, as women are (oh sorry as rural woman are), always screaming and abusing their husbands and in laws.

Politicians and IAS officers, as they are in real life, we are only here to show and project that we are trying to do things. The only beneficiary in the name of WE the people is me, me and me. The handpump in the picture below is granted under the Lal Bahadur Shastri scheme by the District Collector. Natha does ask for the fitting expenses but that is not part of the scheme. Nobody talks about his loan or his land in possession of the bank.

Finally the amma, whose only working limb is her tongue and she uses it to perfection to abuse at every opportunity and appropriate time anybody who comes in front of her. Especially her bahu (daughter in law) with kulta, naaspiti, karamjali, abhouri, naagin, daayein and yes there are few prefixing family relations too.

The ending does not possess a happy ending like a typical Bollywood masala, boy hugging the girl’s parents. Such movies never have a happy ending, instead it creates another level of disruption with no conclusion.

Conclusion or no conclusion, do watch it in theatre and definitely finds a place in the selected DVDs section.

Tere Bin Laden - Watch it or Laugh it

The name of the movie suggests, it’s a satire. It’s a satire on Osama Bin Laden, THE MAN on this earth with $25 million for its headless body and couple of billions or trillions already in the drain for his head. I really admire him for the way; he has made Americans to stalk the Afghanistan. Normally the world wants to stalk or hound Americans till the time they abuse you in public.

For the movie, Mr. Laden raises cocks and hens. He runs a mini poultry farm of his own. He loves and adores his cocks and hens. The irony and parody running in the movie is remarkable and phenomenal. A young Pakistani reporter working with some stupid Danka TV wants to go to America, the land of his dreams. The movie comes at a time when in reality, the Americans have made Pakistan a bigger mess than Afghanistan, that too for supporting America and not fighting them. Though for the reporter, Mr. Ali Zafar should remain stuck to his singing and not acting. He barely knows and seems to show little potential to become an actor.

The irony and parody in the movie, a Pakistani reporter wants to visit America riding on his success of an interview with a fake Osama Bin Laden. What on Earth went in the maker’s mind? Everybody is laughing their way including the producers. I never expected the movie to be a laugh riot. You are laughing and laughing, till it hurts with all the quirky one liners from Noora aka Osama Bin Laden. The best one is “tere behan nu lassi pilawa”. Or Sikander, my star murga, who won the competition; “he, alone has taken control/incharge of 1000 hens”.

The whole effort goes in building the characters, Osama Bin Laden aka Noora, cameraman, owner of the channel, make-up artist, Ted ji, Pakistani brigadiers. Definitely a must watch for all the Asians. In introspection of what we are and what we aim to become and definitely the means we attach to it.

Tweet or Text

One of my friends commented on facebook, “this is most shared video amongst my friends”. I congratulated her on this feat and suggested to put it on resume. Before I begin, personally I don’t have anything against the social networking world/arena/sphere/geography. Really don’t know how anybody wants to define it. It is a great way to connect. I have found schoolmates, friends, love, lost love, found love, have done and used it for all the practical and not so practical things (actually more for it).

Aamir Khan is not normally found in news too much. Except around the release of his movie, he virtually pastes his name, his movie’s name on every wall, street, road, lips of India. But for the past some time, he has been in news for joining twitter. The news reads, Aamir Khan decides to join twitter.

The media frenzy has little or no job, hence they try to make a BREAKING NEWS of any monkey climbing the wall or even falling from it. Aamir Khan’s twitter joining/commencement/launch date was even more anticipated than any of his movies. People lose jobs/stature due to twitter. Big B was the most busy actor till recent and now he is persuading his community (Bollywood) people to join Twitter. As long as Big B is concerned, he never uses a product is he is not endorsing it. He is endorsing all the things that are required in daily life.

Media stays on job for following Twitter of celebrities. The name, profile pic, mahurat of first tweet, every silly aspect, which Aamir otherwise may not have thought for movies even. “Twitter ka baadshah kaun”, we will hear this news and analysis, few months down the line.

Aamir Khan got 37,500 followers on his first day of tweeting.

This morning he joined Twitter officially and said in his first message: "Bhala gardish falak ki chain deti hai kise Insha, ganimat hai ke hum surat yahan do-chaar baithey hain. Esp for you sir. Love. Thanks for the warm welcome guys. Love. Aamir."

Amitabh welcomed him saying, "Thank you Aamir... You give more due than I deserve ... Happy Tweeting ...."

In this narrow world, where SMSes have replaced letters. Tweets are replacing the real touch of a human being.

Raavan – Why and How of it?

I know it’s too late to actually discuss about the movie, “Raavan”, especially these days when the highly anticipated are doomed in three days (maybe first date or during pre-release even) and the much celebrated last 10 days. But still its better to let out the autopsy report after all the dust has settled.

As the saying goes, an exceptional filmmaker is granted pardon for one exceptional blunder of his career. But its still hard to digest, when you name, Mani Ratnam.

Honestly I was not so bored as everybody was while watching Raavan. Not because I have spent money and we should try to enjoy the movie. Every movie has something or the other to offer. In case of Raavan, it was Santosh Sivan’s work. The way he has shot the visuals of the movie even if Abhishiek sliding down the mountain goes out of the frame is worth it. Just enjoy, we only dream about such visuals and places. When you visit, it’s never so enchanting or out of the world, so definitely a high point of the movie.

So the big question is, Why was Raavan made at the first instance? Everybody said before the release, it’s the career defining film for the first couple of Bollywood. It’s definitely career defining movie, I hope they make more sensible choices in future.

Yesterday watching a repeat telecast of IIFA awards and Amitabh was receiving award for Best Actor for his role in PAA. How many great actors in Bollywood have won a Best Actor award without a trophy like actress in their arms in movie? Leave aside SRK, Aamir, none. Actually barring the two, hardly others get a chance. Amitabh Bachchan out of his magnanimity in 1991 or 1992 gave his Best Actor award to the other nominees in Best Actor category and told the baton should be handed over to the next generation. Not that he is less magnanimous or his craving for awards has increased. Its perhaps the first family of Bollywood should only get such awards, since the next generation is not taking the responsibility (the son), hence the elderly has to take the charge (the father). In Bollywood, its not your work or the character you have played, but rather you and your out of the movies personality should exhibit that yes I do deserve an award. The big award winners are always in media circles for most of the things which are not related to movies.

I can bet on it, the best villain award for 2010 goes to Abhishiek Bachchan husband of Aishwarya Rai Bachchan (former Miss World) and yes he is still son of Amitabh Bachchan, the lead actor of Bollywood.

Couple of years back, Abhishiek said, paa got an award, maa got an award, I was nominated; I would have been good had I got an award even. I truly and with whole heart sympathize with you Abhishiek. When you are brought up in the setup where only receiving awards and adding honours is the need and purpose of your existence. It definitely feels bad. Even I am undergoing similar type of circumstances, my brother and sister always agree with my father and I am the one, who is always arguing and add to the fact, they always scored good in academics and I was always floundering.

Everybody in the Bachcan family has been awarded Padma Shri, except Abhishiek Bachchan. Going by the profile of the family, isn’t it justified and time for the junior AB to be awarded few or most of the stupid Bollywood awards and followed by the big Padma Shri award in 2011 or maximum by 2012.

Some people have already started crying for what?
For his stupid, uniconic and very useless and superficial act of Beera. The most boring and disturbing element of Beera was his trademark bur-bur-bur-bur or bak-bak-bak while shaking his head, which is like a necessity to be provided to any villain in a Bollywood movie. Gone are the days, when Mogambo would say, “mogambo khush hua”, everybody would get sad on hearing about his khushi. Children living in villages, towns and cities actually feared the Gabbar of Sholay. That was where Mr. Mani failed, casting the Bachchan scion as the villain, a villain never deserves a sympathy. Even if he deserves, it is for his situations and not for his way and means. Beera got it all. Ram and Sita were like unfit blocks disturbing the Raavan. Even the actress was convinced with the villain. The hero, the quintessential good man of Bollywood movies was lost looking for his place in the script. Perhaps that’s the reason it was named RAAVAN and not Ramayana. For the audience, the real RAAVAN still is Mr. Mani Ratnam.

IT’S OFFICIAL NOW: Shopping makes men impotent

Shopping is really bad for men's health and fertility, scientists are now saying after new research.

I definitely knew about the health part but I still doubt the fertility point. Men get weak, bored to death while women love to shop. Women enjoy shopping, while the man goes through the process of heart-aches and numbness. For women it is stress reliever, while for men it is biggest source of stress.

The way women spend, definitely affects the man’s health. Losing his hard-earned money, when men know they have little option, then can only save to undergo heart surgery. A man cannot defend his own territory against a woman.

The study says, “In the long term, this leads to less sexual drive, encourages the belly instead of the muscles to grow and has a bad effect on erection and potency”.

I doubt the fact actually losing the battle perhaps bring with it few brownie points, for which men are ready to undergo suffering. If it leads to the point mentioned in the study, then perhaps the world will become a sad and bad place to live. Most of the women will turn violent and abusive and forget about themselves as woman. Think about it, men stop going to shopping with women. They’ll believe most of the problems have been capped. But still the problem aggravates, because it will make them less manly.

Contrary to all the theories, practices, if a man takes his woman for shopping, then his heart ache, it means trouble, if he doesn’t, he feels less manly, may risk the chances of losing self-confidence and thus perhaps maybe, fertility.

But still this topic is open for debate and suggestions. Women are not going to change or improve and men never even try to be the change they want to see.

Mukesh on Broadband via Wireless

3G and BWA auctions are over. After all the important, not so important commented on the lack of Indian Govt. to license and allow to launch 3G at par on time with the developed nations. Here comes the time, when 3G (Third Generation Wireless Services) or BWA (Broadband Wireless Access) is/will be reality in India in few month’s time. 3G or BWA has the speed that you can make babies on net. You can watch your favourite TV show, movie even on mobile.

PM (Pranab Mukherjee, though it hints more at Manmohan Singh) is laughing his way to the bank. Govt.’s (all over the World) make money by giving us the license to live (Income Tax), grow (Wealth Tax) and do business (too many to list). But derisking the whole nation by licensing to source/monetize waves is the masterstroke. Rupees One Lakh Six Thousand Crore Only, it was difficult to count the zeros. Telecom Ministry has become the Jewel in the Crown, especially after Mr. Raja became a big embarrassment for the UPA Govt. in their previous term due to telecom licenses. His name could make the new Govt. fall. He definitely needs to be given a bonus for the monies that the Govt. has earned. The money could easily help the Govt. to reduce the Fiscal Deficit by 100 basis points, after reaching the alarming levels in 2009-10. I fear it may not amount to mere electronic entries for the Govt. of India, wherein, telcos. approach the PSU banks to help them in financing their license fee, as happened in previous PSU market issues (listing on stock market). SBI and LIC filled up the issue numbers of NMDC and NTPC as market (investors) expected little from the Govt.

Let us take a peekaboo at the build up and the outcome of the auctions.

Before the build up, let’s look at the outcome. Mukesh Ambani is back in telecom space. That’s the bigger news in the industry than the money to be parked with Govt. coffers. Mukesh Ambani is famous/known for disrupting the markets with his ambitious and audacious plans. Market players are forced to change their strategies, thinking to stay in business.

People are guffawing for the fact that why BWA has managed to collect double the revenues for the Govt. than 3G. In 3G, only Reliance, Bharti, Vodafone, Tata and Aircel participated. There are whole bunch of players in Internet business. RCOM, Tata and Idea have already backed out of the bids, referring it as too steep prices for broadband business.

Mukesh Ambani has done the trick, bid and bagged all the 22 circles in BWA auction. Mukesh Ambani builds assets at the price at which it is difficult to think even. 22 circles at Rs. 128.48 billion when most others have coughed upto Rs. 6,000 Crore for 5,6 or 8 odd circles. Mukesh Ambani’s in his trademark style has taken the assets at the heavy discount as compared to other players in the industry.

Further to be anticipated, how he moves front and back in the telecom and digital telephony space with BWA license. Listen and just try to interpret, “A single 20 MHz TDD spectrum when used with LTE (Long Term Evolution) has the potential of providing greater capacity when compared to existing communication infrastructure in the country”. Another strange thing, when perhaps it was said, that some of the bigger groups were ready to offer their license to RIL at throwaway prices. Infotel Broadband Services (P) Ltd., I doubt if they anything relating to broadband besides the word in the Company Name. Mr. Nahata is still to pay Rs. 500 odd crores to the bank. Still recording losses at breakneck speed, I really adore their commitment to the Company.

Biggest uproar is the fact, Mukesh Ambani is back into his dream industry days after scraping the non-compete agreement with his litloo (younger brother). Reliance Infocomm set up by Mukesh Ambani now known as Reliance Communications is now in the hands of Anil Ambani in family division. Did that Non-Compete Agreement possess any importance?, when they had fought tooth and nail for the dead gas floating in sea bed of Krishna Godavari basin.

As for the customers, they are going to rake the moolah with the pricing strategy and product development of Mukesh Ambani.
Last time it was Roti, kapda aur mobile.
This time it will be less than that even but still sufficient.

Real life vs. Virtual Life

“I am working on my autobiography”, reads my Orkut profile. Some other random different words for my Facebook profile. The question to be asked, how real our virtual world is, especially in comparison to the time we are dedicating to it these days. There are people who have transported themselves to the virtual world and isolated from the real world. Real world is scrawny, bad and real, it tells and reflects about the real you. But the virtual world is all about the good things about you and in this world. Virtual world comes with no caveat. No bars hold/held, you can do anything you wish to do, they way you wish too. Remain anonymous, even if it is hidden, who is going to find out.

We can do anything with words and with the picture pasted on the computer but not to real life people. At times, it does help us in identifying with ourselves but more or less, it may not be the case for the most. We may not like few people, which is human nature, so we stop interacting with them or perhaps ignore them. But in virtual world, even if somebody is irritating or real boring, we know its just the picture. I had a friend, who was always discussing about his blog and the opinions that his followers framed for his post. We should take and respect opinions about yourself, whether good or bad (most of the times, its good in virtual world) but without ignoring the real opinions. He was concerned about their opinions and not mine to stop living in the dream.

With the advent of Twitter, things are getting more out of hand. Priyanka, Shahrukh, every other celebrity in the world to connect to their fans. But in real life, if any of their fond fan turned friend via Twitter turns up at their door, he/she will be labeled stalker and handed over to the police. Amitabh’s FMxt is always welcome, everyday he is thanking and praying for somebody or the other. A real, noble gesture from the face of Indian Bollywood, albeit on a virtual world. FMxt exists on internet. Is it perhaps the disconnect only, which connects people? On the contrary, in IPL, the ones who twitter have lost their jobs. The seemingly disconnect between real and virtual world is diminishing. People are writing ‘WILLs’ for their digital assets.

The whole online game is very infectious and contagious. I know, we have stopped remembering or memorizing things, want to find some information, Google it. When were you born? I need to Google and check. Online diaries, reminder notes, digital birthday calendar, birthday reminder, online wishes, the world is corresponding through waves and not through emotions or feelings.

And if you don’t have an online presence, you are dumb, stupid and ostracized from this world. People frown at you. There was a time, when people dialed everybody’s number and could write our phonebook front to back. We actually remember the other person’s voice, sounds and now, the cellphone beeps the person’s name. Simple, we don’t remember our home number even or surprised at times, when our parents call from PCO (one in million times) or from their colleague’s/ friend’s and we ask, who is it?

There are certain boons or perhaps the reason for its popularity. The speed with which this medium carries information to one and all. One of the mobile phone companies, is advertising, yesterday was so 317 Updates ago?

I’d suggest to everybody, stop dreaming, start LIVING.

Until then, BrB.

Smile Please

Family gatherings are so much fun. Especially in today’s fast pace world, when everybody is neck deep in their worldly affairs. So an occasion for the family to allow them to come together is the moment to cherish. I was meeting my family, extended family for my elder brother’s engagement ceremony. I meet my elder aunt (mausi), you are getting better with age. Perhaps she found a new world after becoming grandmother. No there’s something with her teeth, her brown pouty teeth were now replaced with white structured dentist’s teeth. She possessed a completely new kind of smile. I somehow found it too fake. But her smile made me remember of somebody, my mother’s aunt (chachi). My mausi’s smile completely resembled her aunt’s smile and pout. I realized we all can sport the same smile with the dentist’s teeth. Imagine the whole world posing with the artificial smile. The smile, the most inherent element of any person’s outside personality and charisma.

MS Dhoni is on the verge of losing his status in his job. Being part of Indian cricket team and leading the Indian cricket team are the most sought after and toughest jobs to hold in India. Everybody thought its difficult for Dhoni to lost the job considering his stature and the maturity he possessed and depicted on and off the field. In india, its more important to control things off the field than managing the game on the field. This is where Dhoni faltered. Dhoni should have given a better reason for losing the game. Its not bad to lose, but the way Indian team does not even fight or make the other team struggle to win. To top it all, we have our media, it deviates us from the whole issue. It was over the dismal Indian team performance. But the stretched the Dhoni remark on IPL parties. I seriously doubt if IPL is good for cricket.

Getting back to the IPL parties, Mehr Jesia, wife of Arjun Rampal, who is good friend (offering all the services) of Shah Rukh Khan, franchise owner of IPL, a strong ally of Lalit Modi. Mehr Jesia organized IPL post match parties. She defends the IPL parties by saying, nobody forced them to attend the parties. Anybody put in the cricketer shoes, cannot say NO to such party. Such party not because of free booze, smokes, butt shaking, breast ogling babes and last of all the music.

Lets say its just a normal office party, your boss invites you for it, who does one say for it. Just a normal business networking session over a couple of drinks, what do you tell your boss? I’ll be there, even if you hate drinks and socializing, you try to be part of the party wholesome to score some brownie points with your boss and develop some contacts for your job, business or perhaps be offered a new job. On top of it, your colleagues tell you that the most beautiful and sexy Cindrella is gorging on you, that party may be the place to hit the SIX. No matter how screwed you are during the day.

I am sure, the glamour and the itsy-bitsy cheerleaders, so called glam dolls hanging as a trophy in the arms of the cricketer, who would say NO to such a party. Just in case, you don’t show any interest to Cindrella, you are questioned about your sexuality (in the legalized homosexual world) or whatever.

Now comes, the most silly or stupid reason from Ms. Jesia. She could have consulted Shah Rukh Khan for his maturity and wittiness. These parties help cricketers get close to their fans. If she means fans are the glam dolls and they want to sleep with their favorite cricketer and that too of dozen different nationalities. I’d surely say, yes, fans really got close to their stars. But otherwise, how many of the fans were invited or allowed to mingle with the cricketers from the stands ticket costing Rs. 100 or Rs. 500 or even Rs. 1000. Cricket is not Bollywood, where you spend a night with your director/producer and you can take a day off or get hold off your day. A sportsperson mind and body requires a certain level of discipline. They don’t have second or ‘n’ number of chances like actors.

Anybody, who is not related to cricket, has the right to say anything he or she wishes to say about cricket, except the playing team. Its even worse than America talking terrorism. But if Dhoni or Tendulkar, wishes to say something, it’s a crime.

Cricket is no longer a sport but a tamasha run by buffoons. Its not your on field performance that matters, whether you hit a SIX or bold out on DUCK. Just watch your tongue and that too, off the field.

And Dhoni did teach us a lesson, no matter how good or bad you are, whether you are performing or not. Never/ever question the antics/methodologies of your boss/organization.

Bhajji ... dum hai

Only a Sardar can do it. Hugging the richest man's woman of India.

Bhajji U rock...........

Its certainly not about Cricket

Lalit Modi has proved that he is the best player in the cricketing world post the success of IPL-2 in South Africa. But the IPL-3 made us realize is that it is the most dangerous sports/business to be in and how shady the character of Lalit Modi is. Comparisons are being drawn between Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor. There cannot be any comparisons between the two. Shashi Tharoor has been clean bowled or perhaps retired hurt by Lalit Modi, when he was just supporting a spectator. Lalit Modi was also not found on the field. So you know Lalu Parekh (Lalit Modi’s name in the book, The GameChangers by Fake IBL Player) decides even who can support which team.

Personally I am in awe of Lalit Modi, he can hit sixes at any ball or clean bowl any batsman as and when he wants. Last year, he was in virtual fist fight with our Hon’ble Home Minister, Mr. P. Chidambaran. Jaipur ground could not host its fair share of matches as Modi was not appointed on Rajasthan cricket board. One of the friends wrote on his facebook status, “Conveniently, Low intensity blasts outside Bangalore cricket grounds to shift the venue to Mumbai”, inspite of Lalubhai claiming water tight security measures for the tourney. Now he has clean-bowled Shashi Tharoor. It’s difficult to manage bollywood stars, cricketers (the most spoilt breed of humans in India), not only from India but across the nations and last but not the least, the politicians (of course, Mr. Pawar would have helped him in taking care of this aspect).

Everybody is talking about money Modi’s is making. I believe he is getting peanuts for his job and the money which changes hands during the tourney. A rough palpable figure may be close to a $ 1 billion every year without taking into account the money involved in match fixing and betting. In India, you are never paid for your job. You have to make your own ways to make money. I know, it sounds illegal.

Most of the sports/casino (gambling related) businesses are run through Cayman Islands, Bahamas. In India, Mauritius is famous as majority of the times Mauritius is the first place for cash outflows and last place for cash inflows and from there on, it travels to other tax havens. Nobody can get the identity of the persons owning the businesses in these tax havens.

Lalit Modi is a very illustrious and powerful person. He has a very healthy, wealthy and colourful lifestyle. I ask, why it shouldn’t be? He belongs to the Modi family, one of the most influential business families in post independent era of India. He had his share of college masti and was arrested for possession of cocaine and assaulting charges. The difference between criminal and non-criminal is a criminal is caught with his wrong doings. Modi seems to be suffering from his old college days. He has again been caught. Proving the theories will be little difficult. Personally, we shoudn’t, that’s his personal choice. Allegedly he has married his mum’s friend. He (age 47) is already a grandfather. I don’t know whether you should call it step or not. His wife’s child from first marriage has a daughter. His issues with Mr. Tharoor started due to Gabreilla. Gabreilla is seen at IPL parties. Lalubhai was soon to be immortalized by the cricket fraternity.

Mr. Shashi Tharoor was once contesting for the top post of Secretary General, UN. He is widely acclaimed for his works and thoughts across the world. For years, he had been representing India at the UN. He was the voice and the image of India. His recent designation was an understatement of his accolades and achievements. With all his knowledge and wisdom, how he got involved is a mystery? The New Age Politician, the unofficial ambassador of Twitter or to some extent of the digital medium is spending less time digitizing and more time for apologizing for his love for the digital world. Had he or not, perhaps or maybe he may now get closer to Sunanda Pushkar.

Mr. Tharoor has lost his job. Lalit Modi is pipped to lose his job.
What is the whole issue about?
Who is responsible for how much?
Had Rendezvous given sweat equity to Salman Khan instead of Sunanda Pushkar, would have been better?
Is it relationship of Shashi Tharoor with Sunanda Pushkar?
Is it about betting?
Is it about money laundering?
Is it about Lalit Modi having stake in three different IPL teams?
Is it some other power strife among our Hon’ble Congress men?
Is it about cricket?

I believed sports are a peace and good will maker. But this IPL is nothing about cricket/sports. It is not even about the game. It’s all about the controversies. Who grabs the maximum headlines or photo-ops? We are witnessing a test match in T20 format.

BCCI is mum over the whole issue. They want to take over ICC and be the authority of cricket globally. It’s like Americans bombing Iraq for no reason or plan.
So many questions, yet there are no answers. Except for the fact, it is certainly not about CRICKET.

Its boring to be ADULT

Today I felt vindicated after spending one week in water, I was able to float in water. Though swimming still seems a distant dream. But soon it will be a reality. My friends are shouting on top of their voices, you are paying 2 grands just for taking bath in a swimming pool. But now I am confident, I have somehow fought with my inhibitions to swim.

Schools have just started and there are dozens of kids splashing water with their hands and legs. Totally disconnected from the world, whether or not, they wish/will learn to swim, they are hardly bothered. Why can’t I get my days back of innocence/ignorance?

And in the showers, the coordinator announces, your next period can also be dedicated to swimming. Everybody is clapping, shouting, as if Aishwarya has been crowned Miss World for the second time. My friend is smiling at me and tells, quick, we are getting late for office. And I ask him, will you feel the same if your boss calls and tells you, you can come an hour late to the office. He says, your question has boss and office in it? I get numb when I hear from boss and feel too bored to go to office. It only adds to the already boring life we are leading, forget about the happiness. If the card does not meet its master (the swipe machine), I am always bothered about losing my half day’s salary. So there is no scope of excitement to arise because of the constant fear in my mind. Dude, I don’t know, whether we are struggling for peace of mind or fighting against time. Either ways, both are hard to achieve.

Why cant we grown ups feel the same kind of joy and excitement as kids do, on such small-small things in our life? My neighbours’ son, had always only one concern after returning home from school in the afternoon, I should stay away from my house for next six hours. My mom bothers me to finish my home work. Homework or perhaps teacher’s spanking was the only concern in our life. Now, there are so many people for whom we are planning/scheming and yet not achieve anything. Everything boils down to the fact how much you are earning. (More on that sometime later)

Future of IPL

Just a forward - too hilarious

As Napoleon Nayudu prepared to face another ball, several thoughts raced through his mind. After being bought by the Gummidipoondi Gumboils for an astronomical $5 million in the 2015 Indian Premier League (IPL) auction, he knew he had a reputation to keep up. Should he try a straightforward Toyota Front Foot Drive this time, or should he aim for a Bombay Dyeing Cover Drive ? Or perhaps an ITC Square Cut (Statutory warning: Smoking is Injurious to Health) would be a better idea? He realised he needed to hit an IBM boundary soon. Ever since IBM had announced they would pay Rs 1 lakh per boundary and Rs 5 lakh for a six, he had been trying to run less and hit more. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been doing either in this match, because the Begusarai Bandits had some very good bowlers. The next ball, he played a Pepsi Inside Edge onto his Maggi middle stump and trudged wearily off the field to the accompaniment of boos from the Vodafone Zoozoo stand at the Kellogg’s Special K-Cereal stadium in Gummidipoondi.

Relaxing in the Parle Glucose commentary box, Saurav Ganguly ruminated on the momentous changes in the game that had occurred since the IPL came into being. In 2010, he remembered, the game started to really grow, with huge sums of money being paid for the Pune and Kochi teams. Teams soon started springing up like frogs in the monsoon. And when the Gorakhpur Gorillas won the IPL in 2012, every district town in the country wanted its own side.

The IPL season was extended to six months in the year, then to 12 months and soon, once the villages started having their own sides, you had matches on all 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Industrialists sold off their old companies and bought IPL teams. Twenty five of the 30 Sensex stocks were of cricketing companies. Advertisers fought with each other to sponsor matches, stadiums, sixes, fours, shots, balls, wickets and what not. Every patch of the players’ clothing, his arm guard, helmet, and pads was covered in advertisements. Tendulkar Itch Guard Crotch Guards started a new trend in merchandising, selling like hot cakes.

As the money flowed in, players’ salaries zoomed. Everybody wanted to be a cricketer. Engineering and medical colleges were deserted and Indian Institutes of Management converted themselves into institutes of cricketing management. C.K. Prahalad lectured on the pot of gold at the bottom of the leg stump.

Meanwhile, Finance Minister Lalit Modi mooted a radical proposal in the Lok Sabha for nationalising the Board of Control for Cricket in India , pointing out that its profits would wipe out the government’s fiscal deficit. Food production had suffered, he said, as villagers refused to till their fields and spent their time playing cricket instead. A law prohibiting the transformation of arable land into cricket pitches was swiftly passed. A resolution to install a statue of Lalit Modi in Parliament was also adopted unanimously.

Back in the commentary box, Ganguly did a rapid mental calculation and told his listeners that Napoleon was now being paid the equivalent of Rs 10 lakh per run. A twinge of regret passed through him — during the IPL season in 2010, he recalled, he had been paid only about Rs 1.8 lakh per run. He needed to make more money, he thought. Maybe he would join Navjot Sidhu in The Great Indian Laughter Challenge and be paid lakhs for laughing. For the rest of the match, he practised laughing hysterically at each ball.

Royalty still has chance

To be successful in Indian television broadcasting market and make oodles of money, design or copy a reality show. But the Manoranjan ka baap or Enterntainment ki saas, IPL beats everything when it is compared to any other show on television. Ekta Kapoor made us believe that we are a bunch of sadists, schadenfreudes who just love tears. Inspite of all the drama, brouhaha and the bullshit enveloping IPL, there are no tears in IPL. We don’t need a bag of tissue box, just a beer and some munchies.

Lalit Modi blames, Shah Rukh will dance naked, Shilpa will kiss, Preity will hug, cheers will glow, it is undisputed mother of all reality shows. External Affairs Minister is on the verge of losing his job. Agriculture Minister was briefing for Ms. Pushkar, some model, owner, who danced, ramp walked, marketed, owned, God knows what; during the harvesting season (Baisakhi). The only difference between IPL and all other reality shows is the choice of winner is not demanded (shown, fabricated – without getting into the specifics) by an SMS.

Is IPL also a scripted story like reality shows to add more drama and action for the viewers to watch? Well I know I am staring at the Yorkers and batting without the Gaurd. To say a little about T-20 format, its just the matter of how many sixes you can hit or wickets you can pluck in 15th to 18th over for any team who wishes to win, especially when playing second innings. This year, it seems the matches results have been designed keeping in mind the egos or the deep pockets of the team owners.

But then after 50 odd matches (yeah 49 to be precise) and only seven games left for the Semi-Finals, we are still working out the probabilities about who may stand a chance to enter the SEMIs. Only Mumbai Indians will certainly play in SEMIs and Kings XI is playing only for deriving the valuation figures for its owners and for the semis, they can dream about IPL-4.

The other six teams are still hanging whether they will or will not qualify for the SEMIs. I’d say the same even for Bangalore, although they are on No. 2 in the points tally, with only one game left and if Deepika and Katrina don’t come to cheer and clap for the team together, they might be shaking their heads at No. 6 position. Bangalore has better chances for SEMIs, compared to other probabilities. RCB will be facing MI for its final league match. Still five teams end up hoarding up for 2nd, 3rd and 4th position.

Rajasthan Royals, I am pretty bored of Royalty people around me. They have bored me to death, analysis, permutations, combinations, cheers, facebook, twitter, everywhere everything revolves around Royalty. As if Shilpa will dance for each one of them, if they win. Still I’d suggest them not to lose hopes, if Royalty pays off in their last match and other teams lose and win in the right manner (averages matter), they may see Yusuf Pathan (after hitting two sixes) getting out once more. They will be praying for better performance from Kings XI.

Delhi Daredevils has both matches against teams who are also vouching for a position in the SEMIs, so those will be nail biting matches.

Shah Rukh Khan has accepted his team’s failure, which means the team has been instructed not to play well for the upcoming matches. But if they wish to reach SEMIs and win both the matches, SRK may have to dance naked.

CSK and Deccan have both, two matches against Delhi and Kings XI. Lets see how much charge devils can dare to or super kings swipe the devils who dare or Kings XI continues with its Pawn XI strategy.

Hope rajasthan proves their royalty sums. Knight Riders truly shows that they know how to ride like Knights even when royalty is deducted and Indians don’t cheer. Until then just watch how royal is the challenge to the Indians.

Whether the permutations/combinations work or don’t will be sorted out in a week’s time, until then the Creative Producer/Writer/Director (Lalit Modi) is the only person enjoying his time on the show.

Where have all the good guys gone?

Pritish Nandy Blog write in Times of India

I was born into a world without villains. The British had left India. We were a free nation. There were many heroes: Gandhi, Subhash Bose, Sri Aurobindo, Nehru, Sardar Patel, Maulana Azad, Ambedkar. Remarkable guys who fought, each in his own way to bring us freedom. A spanking new nation was about to be built. Everyone was excited. It was heady times; it felt great to be an Indian. All our other identities were subsumed.

Yes, there was a bloody Partition. Many had lost their homes and families. Some people were angry, very angry, but that anger was specific. It was directed at those responsible for the bloodshed. It was not free floating rage. No one in those days was stupid enough to confuse Pakistanis with Muslims or the British with Christians. Everyone was anxious to put the past behind and get on with the task of building a new India. Since I grew up in Kolkata I met many people, Hindus and Muslims, who had fled what was then East Pakistan. They were trying hard to rebuild their lives. The locals did not see them as unwelcome immigrants. Instead, they went out of their way to help them. I remember my mother giving her blouses to a refugee woman to embroider even though she could barely afford it on her meagre school teacher’s salary.

There was magic in the air, the magic of nation building. There were dreams that everyone dreamt, of creating a new India where we would all be Indians first. In our living room hung pictures of Rabindranath Tagore, Gandhi, Subhash Bose. My father would proudly tell me stories of the freedom struggle and politicians were then our biggest heroes. No, I never heard of a film star or a cricketer then. We spoke only about politicians and how they would change India. We believed in them. We admired them.

By the time I was in high school things had changed. People were burning buses and trams to protest against a one paisa ticket price rise. It wasn’t actually the price rise. It was free floating rage against being let down by the political class. When I joined college, the best students of my class vanished one day only to surface in Naxalbari fighting for what they saw as a just cause, the rights of the rural poor. I may not have agreed with them but like all young men of the time I believed in the good fight. Student politics in Europe was hotting up. Tariq Ali in England, Daniel Cohn-Bendit in Paris, Rudi Dutschke in Germany inspired the May uprising in Europe. Governments began to feel threatened by youth power. Che was the new idol and young people swore by his vision of a new world. But no, it didn’t take long for disenchantment to set in. Marxism became the God that failed.

It wasn’t only Marxism. Politics failed India. Pictures of politicians in the living rooms disappeared. We read about bloody clashes between political parties, religious groups, castes, communities. Regional issues reared their head. New conflicts emerged. We began to hear of crimes we had never heard before. Suddenly there were villains all around. People we began to hate, who were among us but not one of us. Politics became murky; we began to seek our heroes elsewhere. Actors became stars. So did writers, singers, journalists, sports people. Doctors, teachers, social workers were still respected. Some of them migrated to politics, won elections. But our world without villains had changed forever.

Today we live in a world where villains are everywhere. Politics has more than its share and even though everyone wants to be in politics, the reasons are different. Politics hardly offers nation building opportunities. It offers money, power, pelf. So do some other professions as well but politics is the shortest cut. That’s because at the heart of it lies all pervasive corruption. An honest politician today is as rare as the mountain quail that ornithologist Salim Ali spent his whole life searching for. When I began my life as a journalist, it was possible to expose a corrupt neta and see him sacked or punished. Today, if you expose a corrupt neta, you are more likely to get sacked yourself.

Then there are the other villains around us. Terrorists, extortionists, underworld syndicates, Maoists (often confused with the Naxalites of yore), the khaps who love to murder their own, suicide bombers fighting for lost causes, bigots who beat up young girls for drinking or wearing short dresses, fundamentalists constantly in search of new victims, regional groups who see other Indians as the enemy, book burners, art vandals, hackers, poachers who are wiping out entire animal species, corrupt Government officers, rogue policemen, environmental predators, fake drug manufacturers, the land mafia encroaching on public land in connivance with those who are supposed to protect it. The villains are everywhere, growing by the day. Where have the heroes gone? I often wonder. Where’s the India we once dreamt of?

Shoania

Sania is getting married to Shoaib Malik. The media persons went into a tizzy to find out how the relationship started. But they have little time to dig the story, especially with short notice for marriage. They are busy covering the plethora of issues surrounding the wedding, cricket, tennis, Indo-Pak, visa, Dubai, who will become what, dance, song, mehndi. Everybody is joining, Pakistan Govt., tennis authorities from two nations, moral issues, societal issues, Bal Thackeray. For the first time in Sania’s career, tennis, mini-skirts and her pranky Tee quotes have taken a backseat. Just perception theories whether it’s a clean bowled or an ace, nobody can get a clue.

I believe they have taken a huge step for mankind. India and Pakistan talking politically in the garb of Afghanistan and United States of America, cannot achieve anything. It’s the people from two nations who can bring the change. India should continue to revisit its formalities for the so-called PEACE talks with Pakistan till the next generation arrives. The current generation carries the images of Partition, 1971 War, burnt houses of Hindus in Kashmir, against which it’s difficult to talk peace with anguish in the eyes. Either Pakistan will reach the fate of Afghanistan esp. with the complete access given to United States of America. The moment you give access to Americans, the story is over. In Pakistan, HOPE is despair.

Pakistani tennis authority stated, looking at the moral and societal values of Asians, Sania should play for Pakistan since her husband is from Pakistan. Perhaps for the first time, Pakistan is backing an Indian, fighting for and encouraging an Indian to be called a Pakistani. They would have responded the same had it been the case of Shoaib Malik marrying a Hindu. No …… No….. No……. I will not tread on the religious issues, right now its only about Indo-Pak, superstars and the sports.

Sania did hit the Ace when asked whom she would support India or Pakistan. Would always be cheering for India and supporting my husband for the hard work that he puts in. answered definitely in context to cricket, no political statements from sportpersons. Ayesha angle perhaps has been brought in to deviate the media, consulates and diplomats away from the main point of contention. It’s like American rugby player marrying a Russian gymnast in the Cold War period, read one of my friend’s status messages on Facebook.

The masterstroke is settling in Dubai. After all neutral venue has always been chosen for hosting matches between India and Pakistan. I wish the two LUCK and future ahead. Hope India and Pakistan can take a lesson from the love of two sportsperson. Or perhaps neutral venue will be the solution for India and Pakistan. Till then, we wish to explore the possibility of deriving something like Shoania for India and Pakistan.

Live-in CHILD

Supreme Court will change the Indian social landscape. Steven and Stephen illustrated in their book Freakonomics, Michigan (or some other state) has less number of crimes because of the legalization of abortion for teenagers in 1970s (due to which there were less number of orphans). Our politicians will keep mud slinging on each other, over women reservations, dalits, temples, mosques, elephants, parks, names to be dedicated, without trying to look at the social fabric and taking the nation away from its old parochial systems.

Picture: (Maybe John and Bipasha are the icons of live-in relationship)

Supreme Court was loud and clear in the case of actress Khushboo. Article 21 of Constitution gives Right to Life, Fundamental Right. Two adults can stay together under one roof without any (registered) relationship, as they wish to. The Court’s lambasted the system for taking complaints against the actress, for her remarks on pre-marital relationship. We are not talking about morality or principles. It’s an individual’s choice, whether to marry or live-in. “Lord Krishna and Radha lived together”, the Court stated.

The Law needs to incorporate these changes and perhaps move a step forward towards registration of live-in relationships. Long live-in relationships as good as marriage was ruled in another ruling. Of course, this path was taken when the relationship lead to reproduction. But now, the case of reproduction has taken us to the next level. Why is it that a man and a woman require a stamp to prove their relationship? Perhaps for the following.

A man is denying his alleged relationship with his live-in partner with whom after living for years together and a baby, he denies any role in reproduction of the baby. What is the fault of the little angel for the choices, two individuals make in their life? Or perhaps realizes he was born by mistake. The female wants compensation from her man for the upkeep of the child. I hope Supreme Court will more likely rule in the lady’s favour.

Shouldn’t such men be ostracized from the society?

Women have choices under such circumstances. Whether to dump the man or accept him?

What Priety Zinta portrayed in movie, Kya Kehna in early 2000 is seeking society’s acceptance and demands not be banished but to be appreciated.

In my teens, after watching movie, I repeated the movie promotions to everybody, “kya app sochte hai, priya (Priety’s protagonist in the movie) ne jo kiya, woh theek kiya” (You believe what Priyadid was right). Most of the people wore an astonished expression. And then would smile/laugh at the stupid question of the youngster. But the question is there and we should have an answer for the question, whether we get or do not get into such kind of situation?

When our economy is growing, our society should also grow, to result in overall Development of the Nation.

The answer, do watch the movie?

As for the case, asking and taking the compensation is the most important aspect. Whether or not to use the money is the woman’s choice.

I am living my dream

How many of us get to say, “I am living my dream” in our lifetime. Sachin Tendulkar quoted in one of his recent numerous press meets, after hitting the score of 200 in an ODI. This IPL season is further adding to his already impeccable and unachievable records. There are hardly any records left in international Cricket which he has not scaled, when it comes to batting. Nobody talks about his 150 odd wickets, which are not a mean achievement. There are hardly any bowlers in our current Indian cricket team with 150 wickets under their cap (may be Bhajji or Zaheer).

“I wanted to play cricket whole-heartedly for the country. I am living my dream and have played with two-three generations. I wanted to be a special member of the team and I have done it,” Sachin.

Its no mean achievement to scale the heights which Tendulkar has reached. ICC has announced World Cricket Day as the day when Sachin Tendulkar was born. This is one thing, I wish to achieve in my lifetime, some road, gully, nukkad, street, award to be named after my name. I hope, I wish, I am able to. Every road, street, gully, nukkad, nullah is named after some person or perhaps the characteristic of the place. But most of them are named after the dead, Sachin has achieved it, when he is alive and kicking.

Now he is waiting for his triple century in Test cricket or perhaps may hit 100 in 20-20 even, looking at his current form. The best part of Sachin and the irony of his profession, as you grow old, gain experience, you ability to deliver starts declining after a particular stage. But he is perpetually in growth stage. A decade in International cricket means you have lived your lifetime. But this man, he has already crossed two.

In the past two months, he has been compared to every possible conceivable cricketing great or legend in the world history. But comparisons are frivolous, every era has its own heroes with its own style and achievements. Earlier they were fiery bowlers like Marshall, Walsh, Ambrose, who were always looking for prey. Now, cricket is more of a batsman’s game with little meat for bowlers. No harm to Sachin, Sachin would have been exceptional under other circumstances too.

Every other person, appealed in the press for Bharat Ratna Award for Sachin Tendulkar. Whether he gets the award or not, he is truly the Bharat Ratna. But most of all, a man who is living his dream.

Sweet Nothingness of Life

Last Sunday, when I visited home, my father and one of his old friend were happy and content with the life they have led. I always believe, we should be seeking contentment and not happiness, happiness is one of the emotion that we feel from a range of emotions across different stages and periods of our life. If you run after happiness, you will never get it; in fact, it will keep running away from you. Happiness or being happy lies in the moment. Thinking ahead, will I able to achieve the same level of gratification from my life when I grow old like my father. I am doubtful. Our lifestyle gives us barely the time for ourselves. Boss, office, clients, colleagues and if something is left, cellphone eats that time and a little time for that special person (girlfriend, wife, whosoever).

Coming back, our parents don’t approve of the express life their children are leading. But then they can only complain? As my father says, “I always tried to teach you good values and the education you wanted. Now it’s your choice, how you make the best use of them?” I am extremely thankful to my father for all the beautiful things and experiences (even distasteful experiences were necessary (like to know the sweetness, we must understand bitter first) for the process of growing up). Majorly, he didn’t force me to become doctor. Like living in a Govt. colony amongst doctors, every person is obsessed with their children becoming doctors. At the same time, I’d say, my father may not feel proud for his son, especially for the fact when I have broken almost all the values that he had taught. Somehow or the other, I have always landed up in the soup of things and experienced all the legal, not so legal and illegal things in my life, which any sane person may not testify.

No I don’t want to thank my mum or my dad. We cannot thank our parents, which is too selfish from our end. Instead we should nurture our relationship further with our parents by caring and try to love them back as much as they did when we were tiny tots.

Flamboyance at its BEST

Vijay Mallya is known for his flamboyance and style. If you have got money, you gotta enjoy life and flaunt it, exploit people. So true, I am completely gasped by this man and his style and would never condemn any of the practices that he follows. So much so, Vijay Mallya is the generalized term of flamboyance and style, for the way he lives and parties. Many can only aspire to live that kind of lifestyle.

If you feel and think, Vijay Mallya is, think for a moment again and the other name which comes is Mayawati. MAYAWATI……!!!!!!! #$%%^&*@? ?????
Yes, our very own Behanji, didi and mata for many homeless, destitute, lower class people of Uttar Pradesh. OK, well not in the same manner. Or some may say, the parallel drawn is not too interesting. We are talking about flamboyance.

Mayawati surely gives Mr. Vijay Mallya, a huge competition for turning his position in flamboyance. She is extremely flamboyant and classy when it comes to honoring dates of her party (Elephant, Bahujan Samaj Party) and the dead people of her party and herself. Mayawati’s birthday, her party’s founding, winning, losing day (God knows which all days are celebrated), Kanshi Ram’s birthday, death day, AMbedkar’s birthday or whichever way she feels.

Every time, the Opposition raises hue and cry over her flamboyance, which they say is unacceptable. Because she celebrates on public money. Everybody can splurge with his/her money, but to do it in style with the State exchequer is the highlighting factor of Mayawati.

Better part is not the celebrations, but the unveiling of new standing monuments of Elephants, Ambedkar, Kanshi Ram, Mayawati. Mayawati’s birth date is celebrated as Swabhimaan (Self-respect) diwas for the sake of all oppressed classes. How much self respect they have achieved ever since Mayawati has been in power? Or better I’d say the Oppressed are still the Opressed under the Oppressed. Oppressed has no relation to the economic status but to the tag they carry of their DALIT caste.

The whole State machinery is moved back and forth for her celebrations. We have heard it all, the statues of Ambedkar, Maya and Elephants, the parks for them, ladoos (which consume enough raw material to feed the entire India for a day), PWD officials working overtime, stage, Mughal-e-Azam sets, her penchant for diamonds, Developmental money coming in trunks, 25,000, 50,000 or 1,00,000 odd people celebrating for the occasion.

This time, it was above it all, I was surprised to look at the elegant and beautiful shape of flowers of her garland, which when opened can wrap the whole of Uttar Pradesh or the money spent on garland can help in constructing 100 elephants (on the conservative side). You look carefully and the garland has been made from 1000 Rupee Notes. Clearly hats off to Mayawati, in the times, when people are thinking about making love to save condom costs and the Govt. is preaching austerity (of course Govt. and Mayawati are in Opposition), but who cares.

Who preaches and who listens? As a famous researcher once said, “God exists, you arrive in UP/Bihar and you realize, yes certainly God does exist”.
As for our didi, she is guided by the Constitution of India, written by Ambedkar,
to the people,
for the people and
by the people.