Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Sweet Nothingness of Life


Last Sunday, when I visited home, my father and one of his old friend were happy and content with the life they have led. I always believe, we should be seeking contentment and not happiness, happiness is one of the emotion that we feel from a range of emotions across different stages and periods of our life. If you run after happiness, you will never get it; in fact, it will keep running away from you. Happiness or being happy lies in the moment. Thinking ahead, will I able to achieve the same level of gratification from my life when I grow old like my father. I am doubtful. Our lifestyle gives us barely the time for ourselves. Boss, office, clients, colleagues and if something is left, cellphone eats that time and a little time for that special person (girlfriend, wife, whosoever).


Coming back, our parents don’t approve of the express life their children are leading. But then they can only complain? As my father says, “I always tried to teach you good values and the education you wanted. Now it’s your choice, how you make the best use of them?” I am extremely thankful to my father for all the beautiful things and experiences (even distasteful experiences were necessary (like to know the sweetness, we must understand bitter first) for the process of growing up). Majorly, he didn’t force me to become doctor. Like living in a Govt. colony amongst doctors, every person is obsessed with their children becoming doctors. At the same time, I’d say, my father may not feel proud for his son, especially for the fact when I have broken almost all the values that he had taught. Somehow or the other, I have always landed up in the soup of things and experienced all the legal, not so legal and illegal things in my life, which any sane person may not testify.


No I don’t want to thank my mum or my dad. We cannot thank our parents, which is too selfish from our end. Instead we should nurture our relationship further with our parents by caring and try to love them back as much as they did when we were tiny tots.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

'Semi Boyfriend' or DTR

Reproduced from www.timesofindia.com
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life/relationships/man-woman/Semi-boyfriend-DTR-/articleshow/5568943.cms

It's that time of the year. Love is in the air, on the cards, in your face, everywhere. Except where it's meant to be. Going by the lingo that's popular these days, that crazy lil' thing called love is all set to be e-dumped ...

IT'S COMPLICATED

When butterflies flutter in two stomachs and even friendly high fives send electric shocks to the heart, how does one explain the status when there is no official acknowledgement or exchange of the L-word ?

The creators of Facebook should be given a medal for pioneering a clever answer to this perplexing question: It's Complicated. The best part is that it's open-ended and can take any meaning you'd like it to take. In fact, it's probably more versatile than Naseeruddin Shah. Not only can it articulate the ambiguous state between friendship and being in a relationship, it can also be used to indicate that a relationship is in the gutter. For some pathetic relationship addicts, it's a perfect cover when they're afraid of being called single.

SEMI-BOYFRIEND /GIRLFRIEND

This relationship status is based on Newton's first law of inertia. It is usually used to denote a potential girlfriend or boyfriend. The potential could have risen from one-sided love and, in some cases, two-sided lust. The semi-boyfriend / girlfriend could be a great friend who you care about, but are not horribly attracted to. It's not unimaginable to see yourself with the semi-boyfriend /girlfriend. It's a stage defined by contemplation, where you're constantly in two minds. "He's a lovely person but might not be the one, she's a great girl but I might look better with someone hotter." Experts say that if this stage exceeds its trial period, there is danger of it never ending.

DTR (DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP)

DTR is the dream of every smitten semiboyfriend /girlfriend. It's when cuddly movies and cosy dinners are interrupted by 'the conversation' . It's usually a loaded exercise of compartmentalisation. Are we friends? Are we friends with benefits? Or are we seeing each other? The idea is to provide clarity on the relationship status and especially on the issue of monogamy. DTR could sneak up on you anywhere: in the parking lot, in a packed party and even a movie theatre. Experts say that the highest number of instances have been recorded at sit-down dinners. There's nothing romantic about it, it's pure negotiation.

GOING UNSTEADY

Back in the 1990s, 'going steady' was a wideeyed expression to suggest that two people were seeing each other. The fact that the college stud mostly rode a bike gave it all the more legitimacy. Some mummies and aunties still love to sprinkle gossip with 'going steady' .

But we are now in 2010 and you're more likely to hear 'Going Unsteady' . It's the logical opposite of 'going steady' , and translates into a relationship being on the rocks and is usually the sequel to 'It's Complicated' . It's an announcement of the possibility of opening up to other options to make sure that the exboyfriend and ex-girlfriend are on their toes.

SHE'S HYPHENATED

How does one tell whether a woman is single or married? No need to rudely stare at her chest in search of a mangalsutra or grab her hand to check if she's wearing a ring. Just ask her name. Gitanjali Shah-Chopra ? Dude, she's hyphenated. Time to make a run for the nearest door. More and more married women today love to add a double barrel in their names: name, maiden surname-husband's surname. The noble cause behind the widespread hyper hyphenation is to not lose one's maiden individuality, but it's also doubling up as a handy tool for ring detection.

NEAR-SIGHTED DATE

When the search for a soulmate went virtual, the erstwhile blind date was elbowed out by the nearsighted date. Now prospective lovers would rather spend time enlarging thumbnail display pictures than rely on imagination and God's grace. When two people who have been flirting online finally meet face to face, the guy doesn't need to be wearing a red tie to be spotted in the crowd and the girl can also leave her red dress at home. But even if the intention is to induce the love bug, several near-sighted daters have reported that it could lead to disappointment because of misleading documentation. In one case, the profile picture of a near-sighter was three years younger, 10 kg less and five hair colours old.

E-DUMP

This new-age phenomenon usually follows a nearsighted date gone wrong. Flirting is brought to an abrupt halt, suddenly the exnear-sighter is repulsive. That's when one ping is employed to pull the flush on the relationship. Sometimes, e-dump can also be expanded to include text messages.

Those who have been e-dumped say that this is the worst kind of dumping and e-dumpers don't have the courage to dump face-to-face and are afraid of confrontation. But several e-dumpers say that it's the simplest way to pull the plug on an unwanted relationship because it's simple, quick and doesn't involve tears.

ATTENTION WHORE

The Attention Whore is like the plague, can often spread through exposure to a contaminated person. Symptoms include being uncomfortable in situations where one is not the centre of attention, inappropriate sexual behaviour, bipolar display of emotions, self-dramatisation , animated expressions and considering relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

In the online world, the status message is an important weapon of mass destruction and in the offline world, tools like physical intrusions into parallel conversations are commonly employed. Beware! The Attention Whore steps her game up in the run-up to Valentine's Day.

ENRAGEMENT RING

The enragement ring is a piece of jewellery, typically a ring, that is purchased for a girlfriend in an effort to make her happy after an ugly fight. It's whipped out when animosity is at its peak. It's produced when sweet gestures have been scoffed at and phone calls rudely cut. It's used when the only hope to salvage the situation is the enragement ring. Sometimes the enragement ring is embossed with a witty or snappy personal message. Enragement ring addicts swear that it works like a charm but the key is to not use it too often.

BUSINESS SHOWER

When you're married, employed and late for work, take a shower with your partner. This is not a recipe to get fired but just another byproduct in the age of DINKs. The business shower is about saving time (and water) and is entirely devoid of any sexual connotation. Two people zip into the bathroom, do their deal and zip out with equal ease and casualness. Romance can be kept on hold because a man's got to do what a man's got to do and a working woman's got to do the same.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Love him, Hail him, Adore him…. No HATE him

Well the topic is very controversial and I can be badly beaten by the Cricket fans/lovers in India. Everybody must be wondering why, Sehwag has even brought the trophy home. Sehwag made the 4th December afternoon so interesting that stock brokers in my office switched from CNBC to Neo Sports, which is lethal for their profession. Sehwag missed the World record by a whisker. First batsman in the world to score three triple centuries in Test Matches. I always used to think, how an Indian player can create glory under the shadow of Sachin Tendulkar. Sehwag has clearly taught us the way to be different.

Sehwag is born with sheer wit and determination to hit every ball offered to him. If he is not able too, he will be resting in the dressing room after scoring a quickie of 30-40. On 4th December, Sehwag forgot he was playing in a Test Match. His batting style seemed as if he is playing in an extended T20 match. Do you think this is healthy for the game in the long run? People idolized Sachin Tendulkar and wanted to become one now if they start wishing and playing Sehwag style, it will kill the game. Nobody would want to become bowler.

I felt pity for the Sri Lankan bowlers besides the joy of watching Sehwag. It was like you are struggling, stumbling at the work, after putting days and nights together for a presentation and all you are getting is a volley of abusing and screaming from your boss from morning till evening without any fault of yours’. The person says I don’t wish to work, I am off for the day. I don’t wish to be respected, it’s ok if you yell at me but don’t abuse me, just show a little amount of courtesy.

T20 is great, esp. IPL. It has created an entertainment format of Cricket. It is offering more first class players to showcase their talent and earn a livelihood. But on the hindsight, it is going to hurt the sporting format. English County players say early start in T20 by Indians has taken their game to a different level. But may need to bring one more format favouring the bowlers. We need bowlers. Practically iconic bowlers have ceased to exist, esp. the likes of Courtney Walsh, Glenn Mcgrath, Curtly Ambrose, Shane Warne. Of course, there were great’s like marshalls, richard’s, merchants, engineers and vishwanath’s in earlier times of cricket. We may not find any in future with the present level of progession of the game.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Kurt Cobain's Death Confession

Just wanted share Kurt Cobain's Death Confession on why he committed suicide after he was proclaimed as one of the best Rock sensations. It is worth read and a soul searching letter for everybody.

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Calling hubby names not cruel, says HC

Calling the husband ‘bhondu’, ‘pagal’, ‘bewakoof’ and making fun of his low educational qualifications does not amount to cruelty and is not a ground for divorce, the Bombay high court has ruled.

Imagine Bombay HC saying this thing, it has hit the last nail in the coffin. The dividing gap amongst the power in the household in the hands of a female has been evident since ages. The female was always an in-charge of the household and the man posed as the head of the family. Now in these modern times of Fundamental Rights, I believe men need to assert for their rights to equality. We are losing ground fast, really fast.

Couple of months back, SC said, ‘biwi jo kehti hai woh sunoh’ (listen to your wife and do as she says). Now Bombay HC gives the woman more rights to even rebuke and insult a man. I don’t know if it allows in front of other people.

A division bench of Justice P B Majumdar and Justice R V More dismissed an application filed by a 33-year-old Pune resident seeking to end his 2003 marriage with his wife, with whom he has lived for barely 20 months.

“The husband should not have been so sensitive even if a few words were uttered by the wife,” the judges said. “In family life, between a husband and wife, occasionally there may be some exchange of wit, anger, jokes or satire; that itself may not be treated as an act of cruelty,” the judges remarked, saying this could not be grounds for dissolution of the marriage.


I know women have better understanding of society, people and managing household and in turn lives. God has blessed women with their dynamic nature. But still that does not mean, that men should be frowned upon. They need their share of respect from the society.

Please My Lord (an appeal to our Hon’ble Judges), Kindly look at the plight of men than pity. Rather they should advise and say, KISS and make up.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

377: Is it about Legality or Societal issue?


The abolition of Article 377 in IPC was seen as the next step towards India’s modernisation in terms of culture and economic. Though we are a little late in adopting the latest sexual communities/taboos of the world but finally yes we are ready for it. I have a doubt, if the tradition of sati was still practiced in India then who will run to fire for whom. Do we really feel that a change in legal constraint has meant that they are liberated? Personally I don’t have anything against homosexuals/heterosexuals/bisexual/bestiality. It is a personal choice of every person. Besides they say Love knows no boundaries, no expressions. Its just a feeling. At times, I really wish to feel such kind of feeling from a guy. But sorry, females are very lovely creatures, I don’t wish to ditch them.

Our Constitution says all men and women are equal, irrespective of their name, sex, caste, colour, creed, etc. The reason for introduction of this Fundamental Right was to eliminate the differences prevalent in Indian society against women. But this is probably the first time, men were asking for their right in India. Lesbian was/is less vulnerable than gay. The expressions of feelings and love in gayhood were/are illegal.

At times, I feel Indian society is more open than westerners. If two men are going arm in arm in streets, nobody in India would look at them with suspicion. But in western world, it is symbolic for the liberation of lovers from the same sex. One of my friends, who visited Australia around 2000 had put an arm around his friends’ shoulder. His friend shouted and instructed him to walk five feet from him. They were not gays’. My friend was not able to interpret him at that time. As the saying goes, Ignorance is Bliss.

Nobody in India has really big concerns about being homosexual. There are many who don’t understand it. One of my colleagues was extremely flustered at the abolition of Article 377 and said, they should not be allowed to be in open. They should remain in their closet. But he forget that you cannot hide your identity in your closet. Similarly they also wish to be recognized as normal people but have tendency and likeness to love the person of same sex.

We have August Kranti Parade on 16th August for gay pride and acceptability of their culture. The only issue in India is that men are very frustrated. I know a lot of my friends aged 20 to 25, who have never touched a female or felt a female. They wish too, but they are not able too and there are too many if’s and but’s for no reason. They are not ready to play with prostitutes. Given their mindset and conditions, they have more tendencies to become gay (if provoked) out of frustration.

I would like to know the reasons for people opposing against the rules of the game. The Jagao and Sulayo Organizations are always motivated by the some regional, state and central political parties/organizations.

We need not change the mindset of the people opposing to homosexuals. We need a complete overhaul of the system. In 1947, Hindustan revolted against British. So many stories and theories exist of liberation, separation and freedom for a country, be it America even. But the societal boundaries that are creeping up in our system, I really wonder who is going to rescue us from the same.

Still there is light at the end of the tunnel, there are people like this woman who are trying to do something different for the society than revolting to change legal guidelines on how to love and make love.


A website for transwomen.

After numerous matrimonial websites, here comes a marriage portal for transwomen (transgenders who have successfully undergone sex reassignment surgery - SRS). The website http://www.thirunangai.net was recently launched by Sahodari Foundation of Chennai.

Sahodari Foundation is founded and headed by Kalki Subramanian, who recently underwent SRS. The idea came about when many transwomen friends of Kalki tried to put up their profiles in popular matrimonial websites. The portals promptly threw out the profiles. The portals were not comfortable with the gender orientation of the applicant that clearly stated that the applicant had "successfully become a woman through surgery".

This prompted Kalki to launch an exclusive site for transwoman.
The website has been launched to find a perfect, trustworthy husband who will treat the transwoman with love, affection care and above all treat the transwoman with dignity, equality as well as respect. The site also encourages couples to have a family through adoption with the total support of the husband.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Some tips for Arranged marriage

Arranged marriage
There are times in a person’s life when he needs to take crucial decisions on his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life. The mere thought of this is very frightening.

Some of the questions that crop up are –
 What sort of a girl do I marry?
 Will she adjust in my family?
 How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times?
 When should I get married?
 This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I make a mistake?
…. so on and so forth…
I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections.

The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage
Rule 1 – Magic no. 28
In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of pressure on the girl’s to get married by the time they become 24-25.

Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.

Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, “I will marry when I settle down”.

Rule 2 -- Subset of marriage-able girls
At times you hear statements like, “I am not getting the right match, I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then”. Well the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. From this subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given time, the variety & number of marriage-able girls are fixed.

Rule 3 – Competition for girls
Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls. In my own case, I was rejected by girls. So, if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working, very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry Aishwarya Rai, but then for all Ashs in the world, there are many Salman Khans who also want to marry them. So, set your expectations accordingly.

Rule 4 -- Understanding girls
You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, its difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I am still trying to understand my wife… ;-)..
Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your parents/ friends & latest technologies like email/ chat to choose your girl.

Rule 5 – Society expectation
The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can’t meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.

Rule 6 -- Marriage between equals
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl’s family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family values & caste/ religion plays a major role. Its important to note that in case there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.

Rule 7 – Know yourself
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall in love. So, it’s very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, “Opposite attract”, while they also say, “Bird of same feather flock together”. So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the perfect girl, but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for. The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection. Don’t forget rule no.3 here.

Rule 8 -- Girl’s Beauty
A girl’s looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb blonde. It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl’s looks are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria. Later on it life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this topic.

Rule 9 -- Taking advice
As I have mentioned in the next rule, it’s very important that the final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don’t do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well wishers. Secondly, in such important matters its necessary that you analyze all possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others’ advice, but don’t forget to take their advice.
Rule 10 -- Own decision
All said & done, it’s your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music. Don’t marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don’t work out & you end up saying, “It’s because of my friends or my parents that I married you”, then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for whatever happens. That’s when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that you marriage the girl of your choice.

How to approach the selection process?
From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a minimum of 3 months.

The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:
Definition phase -- Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans.

Remember the Rule 3 here.
Lead Generation phase -- Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means of getting biodatas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.

Short listing phase – Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting biodatas. The general process followed for correspondence is as follows:
 The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/ herself
 Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope
 The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for similar information
 The receiver send similar information
 If the biodata is selected, it is passed over to the next phase
 Casual interaction phase – Based on shortlisting, about 7 to 10 biodatas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then interact for 10 – 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through email/ chat.
 Family interaction phase – Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background information about the families to find mutual compatibility.
 The dating phase – Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star, what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on her responses.
 The D-day phase – Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.

Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of you.

A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the age-old virtue,
“Never do anything to others that you don’t like for yourself”.
Enjoy the selection process, it is fun…. ;-) ..

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Why I killed Gandhi

Ever since my childhood, somebody told me that Nathuram gave a very good reason for killing Gandhi. But then whatever reason one may give, killing somebody cannot justify such action.

Read the piece below, somehow you will realize it was the best thing to be done at its times.

Nathuram Godse gives a very compelling reason why he killed Gandhi. It questions our very existence, our belief, our societal and thought process. How we read Gandhi lessons in our school is correct? Probably the answer lies like OSHO said, we need to throw all the things, systems, practices that are old. As a new generation, new society, new country, new person, new thoughts start something new. But then I always say, "Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi will be banished and forgotten as the essential parts of our life. Once the bloody hypocritics, laughing filthy face is removed from our Currency Note. That is when a foundation for new India shall be laid."

Gandhiji's assassin, Nathuram Godse's Final Address to the Court.

Nathuram Godse was arrested immediately after he assassinated Gandhiji, based on a F. I. R. filed by Nandlal Mehta at the Tughlak Road Police staton at Delhi. The trial, which was held in camera, began on May 27, 1948 and concluded on February 10, 1949. He was sentenced to death.

An appeal to the Punjab High Court, then in session at Simla, did not find favour and the sentence was upheld. The statement that you are about to read is the last made by Godse before the Court on the May 5, 1949.

Such was the power and eloquence of this statement that one of the judges, G. D. Khosla, later wrote, "I have, however, no doubt that had the audience of that day been constituted into a jury and entrusted with the task of deciding Godse's appeal, they would have brought a verdict of 'not Guilty' by an overwhelming majority"

WHY I KILLED GANDHI

Born in a devotional Brahmin family, I instinctively came to revere Hindu religion, Hindu history and Hindu culture. I had, therefore, been intensely proud of Hinduism as a whole. As I grew up I developed a tendency to free thinking unfettered by any superstitious allegiance to any isms, political or religious. That is why I worked actively for the eradication of untouchability and the caste system based on birth alone. I openly joined RSS wing of anti-caste movements and maintained that all Hindus were of equal status as to rights, social and religious and should be considered high or low on merit alone and not through the accident of birth in a particular caste or profession.

I used publicly to take part in organized anti-caste dinners in which thousands of Hindus, Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaisyas, Chamars and Bhangis participated. We broke the caste rules and dined in the company of each other. I have read the speeches and writings of Ravana, Chanakiya, Dadabhai Naoroji, Vivekanand, Gokhale, Tilak, along with the books of ancient and modern history of India and some prominent countries like England, France, America and Russia. Moreover I studied the tenets of Socialism and Marxism. But above all I studied very closely whatever Veer Savarkar and Gandhiji had written and spoken, as to my mind these two ideologies have contributed more to the moulding of the thought and action of the Indian people during the last thirty years or so, than any other single factor has done.

All this reading and thinking led me to believe it was my first duty to serve Hindudom and Hindus both as a patriot and as a world citizen. To secure the freedom and to safeguard the just interests of some thirty crores (300 million) of Hindus would automatically constitute the freedom and the well-being of all India, one fifth of human race. This conviction led me naturally to devote myself to the Hindu Sanghtanist ideology and programme, which alone, I came to believe, could win and preserve the national independence of Hindustan, my Motherland, and enable her to render true service to humanity as well.

Since the year 1920, that is, after the demise of Lokamanya Tilak, Gandhiji's influence in the Congress first increased and then became supreme. His activities for public awakening were phenomenal in their intensity and were reinforced by the slogan of truth and non-violence which he paraded ostentatiously before the country. No sensible or enlightened person could object to those slogans. In fact there is nothing new or original in them. They are implicit in every constitutional public movement. But it is nothing but a mere dream if you imagine that the bulk of mankind is, or can ever become, capable of scrupulous adherence to these lofty principles in its normal life from day to day.

In fact, honour, duty and love of one's own kith and kin and country might often compel us to disregard non-violence and to use force. I could never conceive that an armed resistance to an aggression is unjust. I would consider it a religious and moral duty to resist and, if possible, to overpower such an enemy by use of force. [In the Ramayana] Rama killed Ravana in a tumultuous fight and relieved Sita.. [In the Mahabharata], Krishna killed Kansa to end his wickedness; and Arjuna had to fight and slay quite a number of his friends and relations including the revered Bhishma because the latter was on the side of the aggressor. It is my firm belief that in dubbing Rama, Krishna and Arjuna as guilty of violence, the Mahatma betrayed a total ignorance of the springs of human action.
In more recent history, it was the heroic fight put up by Chhatrapati Shivaji that first checked and eventually destroyed the Muslim tyranny in India. It was absolutely essentially for Shivaji to overpower and kill an aggressive Afzal Khan, failing which he would have lost his own life. In condemning history's towering warriors like Shivaji, Rana Pratap and Guru Gobind Singh as misguided patriots, Gandhiji has merely exposed his self-conceit. He was, paradoxical as it may appear, a violent pacifist who brought untold calamities on the country in the name of truth and non-violence, while Rana Pratap, Shivaji and the Guru will remain enshrined in the hearts of their countrymen for ever for the freedom they brought to them.

The accumulating provocation of thirty-two years, culminating in his last pro-Muslim fast, at last goaded me to the conclusion that the existence of Gandhi should be brought to an end immediately. Gandhi had done very good in South Africa to uphold the rights and well-being of the Indian community there. But when he finally returned to India he developed a subjective mentality under which he alone was to be the final judge of what was right or wrong. If the country wanted his leadership, it had to accept his infallibility; if it did not, he would stand aloof from the Congress and carry on his own way.

Against such an attitude there can be no halfway house. Either Congress had to surrender its will to his and had to be content with playing second fiddle to all his eccentricity, whimsicality, metaphysics and primitive vision, or it had to carry on without him. He alone was the Judge of everyone and every thing; he was the master brain guiding the civil disobedience movement; no other could know the technique of that movement. He alone knew when to begin and when to withdraw it. The movement might succeed or fail, it might bring untold disaster and political reverses but that could make no difference to the Mahatma's infallibility. 'A Satyagrahi can never fail' was his formula for declaring his own infallibility and nobody except himself knew what a Satyagrahi is. Thus, the Mahatma became the judge and jury in his own cause. These childish insanities and obstinacies, coupled with a most severe austerity of life, ceaseless work and lofty character made Gandhi formidable and irresistible.

Many people thought that his politics were irrational but they had either to withdraw from the Congress or place their intelligence at his feet to do with as he liked. In a position of such absolute irresponsibility Gandhi was guilty of blunder after blunder, failure after failure, disaster after disaster. Gandhi's pro-Muslim policy is blatantly in his perverse attitude on the question of the national language of India. It is quite obvious that Hindi has the most prior claim to be accepted as the premier language. In the beginning of his career in India, Gandhi gave a great impetus to Hindi but as he found that the Muslims did not like it, he became a champion of what is called Hindustani.. Everybody in India knows that there is no language called Hindustani; it has no grammar; it has no vocabulary. It is a mere dialect, it is spoken, but not written. It is a bastard tongue and cross-breed between Hindi and Urdu, and not even the Mahatma's sophistry could make it popular. But in his desire to please the Muslims he insisted that Hindustani alone should be the national language of India. His blind followers, of course, supported him and the so-called hybrid language began to be used. The charm and purity of the Hindi language was to be prostituted to please the Muslims. All his experiments were at the expense of the Hindus.

From August 1946 onwards the private armies of the Muslim League began a massacre of the Hindus. The then Viceroy, Lord Wavell, though distressed at what was happening, would not use his powers under the Government of India Act of 1935 to prevent the rape, murder and arson. The Hindu blood began to flow from Bengal to Karachi with some retaliation by the Hindus. The Interim Government formed in September was sabotaged by its Muslim League members right from its inception, but the more they became disloyal and treasonable to the government of which they were a part, the greater was Gandhi's infatuation for them. Lord Wavell had to resign as he could not bring about a settlement and he was succeeded by Lord Mountbatten. King Log was followed by King Stork. The Congress which had boasted of its nationalism and socialism secretly accepted Pakistan literally at the point of the bayonet and abjectly surrendered to Jinnah. India was vivisected and one-third of the Indian territory became foreign land to us from August 15, 1947.

Lord Mountbatten came to be described in Congress circles as the greatest Viceroy and Governor-General this country ever had. The official date for handing over power was fixed for June 30, 1948, but Mountbatten with his ruthless surgery gave us a gift of vivisected India ten months in advance. This is what Gandhi had achieved after thirty years of undisputed dictatorship and this is what Congress party calls 'freedom' and 'peaceful transfer of power'. The Hindu-Muslim unity bubble was finally burst and a theocratic state was established with the consent of Nehru and his crowd and they have called 'freedom won by them with sacrifice' - whose sacrifice? When top leaders of Congress, with the consent of Gandhi, divided and tore the country - which we consider a deity of worship - my mind was filled with direful anger.

One of the conditions imposed by Gandhi for his breaking of the fast unto death related to the mosques in Delhi occupied by the Hindu refugees. But when Hindus in Pakistan were subjected to violent attacks he did not so much as utter a single word to protest and censure the Pakistan Government or the Muslims concerned. Gandhi was shrewd enough to know that while undertaking a fast unto death, had he imposed for its break some condition on the Muslims in Pakistan, there would have been found hardly any Muslims who could have shown some grief if the fast had ended in his death. It was for this reason that he purposely avoided imposing any condition on the Muslims. He was fully aware of from the experience that Jinnah was not at all perturbed or influenced by his fast and the Muslim League hardly attached any value to the inner voice of Gandhi.

Gandhi is being referred to as the Father of the Nation. But if that is so, he had failed his paternal duty inasmuch as he has acted very treacherously to the nation by his consenting to the partitioning of it. I stoutly maintain that Gandhi has failed in his duty. He has proved to be the Father of Pakistan. His inner-voice, his spiritual power and his doctrine of non-violence of which so much is made of, all crumbled before Jinnah's iron will and proved to be powerless. Briefly speaking, I thought to myself and foresaw I shall be totally ruined, and the only thing I could expect from the people would be nothing but hatred and that I shall have lost all my honour, even more valuable than my life, if I were to kill Gandhiji. But at the same time I felt that the Indian politics in the absence of Gandhiji would surely be proved practical, able to retaliate, and would be powerful with armed forces. No doubt, my own future would be totally ruined, but the nation would be saved from the inroads of Pakistan. People may even call me and dub me as devoid of any sense or foolish, but the nation would be free to follow the course founded on the reason which I consider to be necessary for sound nation-building.

After having fully considered the question, I took the final decision in the matter, but I did not speak about it to anyone whatsoever. I took courage in both my hands and I did fire the shots at Gandhiji on 30th January 1948, on the prayer-grounds of Birla House. I do say that my shots were fired at the person whose policy and action had brought rack and ruin and destruction to millions of Hindus. There was no legal machinery by which such an offender could be brought to book and for this reason I fired those fatal shots. I bear no ill will towards anyone individually but I do say that I had no respect for the present government owing to their policy which was unfairly favourable towards the Muslims. But at the same time I could clearly see that the policy was entirely due to the presence of Gandhi.

I have to say with great regret that Prime Minister Nehru quite forgets that his preachings and deeds are at times at variances with each other when he talks about India as a secular state in season and out of season, because it is significant to note that Nehru has played a leading role in the establishment of the theocratic state of Pakistan, and his job was made easier by Gandhi's persistent policy of appeasement towards the Muslims. I now stand before the court to accept the full share of my responsibility for what I have done and the judge would, of course, pass against me such orders of sentence as may be considered proper. But I would like to add that I do not desire any mercy to be shown to me, nor do I wish that anyone else should beg for mercy on my behalf. My confidence about the moral side of my action has not been shaken even by the criticism levelled against it on all sides. I have no doubt that honest writers of history will weigh my act and find the true value thereof some day in future.

JAI HIND

Monday, June 8, 2009

WOMAN - Just LUV them

Supreme Courts recipe for happy marriage: Obey your wife
The Supreme Court has a recipe for a successful marriage, more so for men: Obey your wife and rule the world!

Must have read the news which came out few days on front page of some of the leading newspapers, OBEY YOUR WIFE, as suggested by a Supreme Court (SC) Judge. I would not like to get into the basics of knowledge and background of the SC Judge but SC Judge is thought to be amongst the intelligent lot to sit on such pedestal. If they say, the world’s gotta listen. Its not everybody we get to hear such social advice from our esteemed Judges.

I do believe the same. For a man to lead a peaceful life, he has to keep the woman happy. All the women around him happy. Be it in the form of a mother, sister, daughter and most important WIFE. To keep a woman happy is a painful process; the Judge reiterates that, ‘Hum sab bhuktbhogi hai (We all have undergone that experience)’. If you do not keep her happy, then you will not be able to live in peace.

Woman is the adorable creature on this earth and mankind. Even in our sages, it is written. Shivji used to be hell scared of Parvati. I just wanna suggest one thing to my friends to stay happy with a woman. Do not think much and never, ever dare to understand a woman. A woman is a complex and complicated creature and if, but and then comes at every point. Just keep loving her, the way she is. You may not live happily but you will definitely rest in peace.

To grab a snippet of the above headline, read the text below:
"Bibi joh boltee hai woh sunno (Listen to whatever your wife says). We all listen," a vacation bench of Justice Markandeya Katju and Justice Deepak Verma observed while hearing a lawsuit by Indian Air Force officer Deepak Kumar, who had complained that his estranged wife Manisha had ruined him and his family by implicating them in false criminal cases including sodomy. "Hum sab bhuktbhogi hai (We all have undergone that experience)," the bench observed.

"If your wife wants you to see this side, see this side. If she wants you to see the other side, do obey her," said Katju, adding: "One who obeys his wife rules the world."

Kumar's counsel told the court that his client had married Manisha 17 years ago but the couple soon landed in court with marital discord erupting between them.

A district court in Chandigarh dismissed Kumar's plea for divorce as Manisha opposed it, but a single-judge bench of the Punjab and Haryana High Court had granted him a divorce and directed him to pay Manisha Rs.1 million as one-time compensation.

Manisha then approached the Supreme Court challenging the divorce decree. Seeking dismissal of Manisha's appeal, Kumar's counsel contended that she was opposing the divorce despite having ruined her husband's life.

The bench, however, posted the case for further hearing in the last week of July, saying there was no urgency in dealing with it.

"You have waited for 17 years, so wait for a few more days," the bench contended.