When a Comedian writes......

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?

~George Carlin

Striker - A new Cinema

Didn’t had anything to do last weekend. No girlfriend. Friends seem so far, thinking about the auto/taxis of Delhi. So had to give-in to my flatmate, who owns a car, Striker, I want to watch the movie without spending on it but ended up paying for him also. Siddharth, one of the reasons for watching the movie, I just fell in love with his attitude in RDB (Rang de Basanti). Couple of years, I had seen BOYS (Telegu Movie) of Siddharth, he was best with his naivety in the movie.

Besides, he takes up one project at a time or for record, one movie in a year. Not a perfectionist though (thank God), for the better only, but definitely tries to put his head in every aspect of his movie. The reviews of Striker suggested, the movie has a lot more meat than the posters or the trailors reveal.

Striker, breaks away from the whole concept of movies, as it is perceived in India. We have cinema, Yashraj, KJo types; parallel cinema; art movies; offbeat (though can be called as parallel) movies, same or different concepts for same or different people. Then there are people like Anurag Kashyap, Abhay Deol, Dibakar Banerjee, who are trying to redefine the definition of cinema, art, entertainment or perhaps may come up with a new term. Striker is a different experience from all these.

A story should have a purpose and a meaning. Striker has none. Like many Hollywood movies, it just narrates about an era in one of the many slums of Mumbai. The movie is set in 80’s with bhaigiri without cellphones against the backdrop of carom. Our common time-pass indoor game. The protagonist does not wish to achieve or change the world or came to put in order the whole lot of mess created by the director on celluloid, he was offered an opportunity and lucky to grab and achieved the desired results without getting head to head with the goons contrary to what happens in Bollywood movie.

Siddharth looks impeccable with his Bombaiya (oops Mumbaiya) dialect and the whole dressing style. We know all the characters of the movie, we have seen them, felt them or visualized them through the n number of flicks made on Mumbai crime, underworld, slums. But this one is different from the times as it introduces the carom board and the whole game of hide and seek ends with the real life dreaded incident of 1992 riots in Mumbai.

Means is important not the end

On 9th, one of my friend's Facebook status read, “when was the last time, India lost by an Innings”. Indian team has never been consistently good, but recently we have been doing well as we had most of our matches in Asia or against minnows. It was way back in 2008, it’s a lot of time looking at the cricketing standards of the Indian Cricket Team. With the loss of this match, India’s position also dropped from the premier rankings chart in Test Cricket. The position should have dropped couple of ranks.

India aspires, oh sorry, they claim to be world class team. But the manner in which our team despises the whole theory. Recently they played against Bangladesh, they could have learnt something from them. Bangladesh had pushed such a fine struggle to save themselves from the misery, they didn’t allow Indian team to win by an innings. Sehwag and Gambhir came to crease in second innings for scoring three runs to win the second test match.

Suddenly everybody got up and started searching for VVS Laxman. I hope, Laxman denies to play at this time or may not be physically fit. Indian Team does not deserve a class player like Laxman. Especially in the absence of anyone responsible, who can stand shoulder to shoulder with him? Indian team is probably practicing for IPL starting March 12, 2010.

Dhoni and his boys need to be fed some theory classes. Test cricket is real cricket as Paresh Rawal said in the movie, Cheeni Kum. Five grueling days, which test your technique, your stamina, your endurance, your perseverance. Test Cricket is deeply and heavily dependent on bowlers. To win a test match, one side needs to take 20 wickets. Where have we got the expertise to claim twenty wickets? Except Zaheer, there are no regular or second graders in fast bowling. Ishant Sharma with tag of Rs. 4 Crore is not able to strike anything, Sreesanth is generally busy with his Malayalam film stars. How long can we tread saddling on Zaheer’s back? Unfortunately, he is also looking tired and wired. Harbhajan Singh, the only spinner is down and out. He has probably lost everything to 20-20 cricket. 20-20 leaves no scope or room for any temperament or technique to develop. He seriously needs to undergo some reconditioning pertaining to his bowling. For a second spinner, we are in testing stage, Amit Mishra and Pragyan Ojha play in alternative, so after six months or perhaps one year, one will be playing more matches over the other. The problem as one of the cricket experts said, bowlers try to bowl as many dot bowls as possible. Unfortunately, not only bowlers but the game as the whole is victim of 20-20 (more on that sometime later).

Coming back to our world class batsmen, as batting is thought to be India’s pote. Yuvraj Singh, even after becoming ODI vice-captain had difficulty in securing a place in test cricket. I am not saying they are not good. Our batting line-up is truly good, they can really score runs but we need to stick to the wicket in a test cricket, which the young generation is faltering in the past. Sourav Ganguly has been forced to retire, Rahul Dravid is injured, Laxman, selectors are searching for him, Tendulkar, I reserve my comments. Rest do we have any batsman in the country, who can pose some trouble or make the winning difficult for the other team even if we are playing without bowlers. Australia in Australia were biting their nails, that’s what Rahul and Laxman ran havoc on their bowling attack and still won the match.

We have not conditioned or seasoned batsman to protect our honour. The manner in which we fielded and Dhoni and his likes gave away their wicket to South Africa is truly a sad disappointment. Maybe Test Cricket is not that enjoyable, as Dhoni always says, enjoy the game guys. The same wicket, the same day, SA can strike 10 wickets and we are cherishing the two wickets. In four days, they strike twenty wickets and we are slumbered into our sad oblivion with only six wickets.

You need to fire, not to win but to make the other team work to defeat you. Winning is not important. More important factor is how we approach winning or losing. Indians has conceded the defeat on the first day itself when we got out in 60 overs. Perhaps if they could have just stretched the match for the five day and a charitable target, would have been much better.

Even South Africa is expecting to play with at least international standards as AB de Villiers quoted, “It is going to be a great challenge here at the Eden Gardens. I'm pretty sure India will come back with a big fight”. We don’t require match winners but match savers. Coz in the end, I’d say “MEANS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE END”.

My Name is Khan (or whatever)

In Bollywood, if you name ShahRukh or Amitabh Bachchan in the interview or any view/idea to the media, you can be assured of additional space in the media. Some of the people, do try to name them. As part of the glamour industry, we understand that you need to create furore (negative or positive) by our continuous presence in media circles. But the politicians stooping to such low levels, especially when we have names like BalaSaheb getting into such murky affair is really shameful. BalaSaheb is a very respected person and politician, though as person that may be doubtful, but still. For all his insecurities and the ramblings, we should discount his age and the fact, that one of the powerful and invincible person (read person not as person) of Mumbai has been licking his wounds due to betrayal by his own nephew. Bala Saheb is an immensely talented and much better entertainer than Shah Rukh Khan. Read his comments in their party magazine, Saamna, the thoughts are indeed very refreshing jokes vis-à-vis the double meaning jokes that we cherish these days. Shah Rukh cannot never pull such kind of entertainment for his audience.

Karan Johar, the producer of My Name is Khan ensured to his audience and the fans of SRK that adequate security has been provided at all the 63 cinema screens across Mumbai, which will be screening My Name is Khan. Mr. Johar, you can go to police but cannot talk to BalaSaheb. You guys are at war with him, why should the audience be victim? We are neutral, neither supporting nor opposing. Bala Saheb possesses his own unique way of looking at things. Amitabh Bachchan apologized for a small remark by Jaya Bachchan in an informal gathering to Manse (MNS, lead by the child prodigy of Bala Saheb). Why cant Mr. Khan apologize to Bala Saheb?

I know SRK does not owe any apology to Bala Saheb. What he felt and said as a team owner and not as Muslim, Indian, Pakistani, entertainer. Bala Saheb, perhaps, believes that SRK is part of Congress and if he apologizes, he would feel Sonia has apologized to his Laughiness (a new word replicating the stature of Holiness/Highness). So much property will be destroyed and an atmosphere of hatred, fear and insecurity will be created for satisfying the ego of Mr. Bala Saheb.

Bala Saheb may be fuming why the movie is named, My Name is Khan. Unfortunately, Bala Saheb, you or you dumb shreds had no role in 9/11. Otherwise, the movie could have been titled My Name is Bhatwadekar/ or something like that.

In the meantime, SRK instead of promoting his film, is unperturbed to show and communicate his Indianness and he is not a Pakistani. I can’t imagine if somebody asks me to prove, I am an INDIAN, why I am Indian, how much I am Indian? Honestly, I don’t have any answer for that. Perhaps, my birth certificate, if you believe it is true and correct. But SRK hats off to you, he is really trying to pull this off.

From where the whole idea started? SRK commented on the exclusion of Pak players from IPL auction that he would have liked the presence of one or two Pakistani players. Inn comes Bala Saheb to invigorate our Indianness and our security issue and is helping us in believing that SRK is a traitor and not an Indian. So what even if he is not? What is Shiv Sena going to make out of it? Shiv Sena stands by and to protect the Mumbai and the Marathi manoos. You cannot prevent your own farmers from committing suicide, what is the point of saving them from whosoever they feel is threatening, frightening them. Mumbai, for God sake, only Thackeray possess the sensibility to destroy Mumbai. Mumbai is not a place or geography. It’s a spirit; it’s the benchmark, which means India for zillions of traders and business travelers. We are talking about making Mumbai, a cosmopolitan, where people of all spheres and walks of life, religions and nationalities, co-exist to create unique phenomena.

Bala Saheb, also alleged, his party will attack Australian cricketers for attacking Indians in Australia. My only stand, if they (Australian, Pakistani, American, Indonesian) attack anybody (India, Afghanistan, Japan, Veitnam), it’s a news, a blunder but still I can attack and threaten anybody, anywhere.

My humble request to Bala Saheb, to focus on the protection of his Marathi manoos, by undertaking something productive for them and leave the larger national issues, esp. issues pertaining to India. Nahi to, aapka bhatija, aapka bacha-kucha bhi lae jayega.

CHANGE

Packed my bags from Mumbai and shifted to Delhi. Everything has changed in the past couple of days, city, job, profile, friends, atmosphere, weather and culture. Every little thing has undergone a sea change. I know, why Mumbai, even I am missing the claustrophobic Mumbai. No matter how dingy and dirty the Mumbai gets, it will truly be the best and most happening city of India. SEA, the dirty Arabian Sea, I miss it badly.

Although there have been debates, discussions, PKSE (Pyaar ke Side Effects), cover stories on Delhi v/s Mumbai, why Delhiites hate Mumbai and vice versa. I was happy to be greeted by the cold weather, which makes your organs shrink and the white layer of fog stretched across the city. After three long years, I was experiencing the cold weather of the Northern region. Remember my school days, when my parents would force to wear gloves, layers of clothing, but young in the blood, brave at the idiocities, no gloves, no sweater. Holding shoulder to shoulder of your friend and riding bicycle while one or two of them driving scooter would pull the whole chain of friends’ riding bicycle.

Delhi ki sardi is truly a joy to cherish. The cold weather brings the real flavour of the whisky. The two/three long swigs of whisky breaks the whole idea of a winter, which even comes at a discounted rates compared to Mumbai. In Mumbai, after gulping n pitchers of beer, you still felt hot inside and outside.

Yes I am truly adjusting to the bull shit transport service in Delhi. Though fares are cheaper in Delhi and exactly half the rate in Mumbai. But the hassle of catching an auto and begging him to take you at the fare he demands.

Meter se chalo, saab meter kharaab hai.

To theek karvayo, Meter se kaun chalta hai.

Acche kitne, 60 rupaiye.

Bhaiya 50 chalenge, saab dal 100 rupaiye se upar ho gayi hai, chinni 50 paar kar gayi hai.

Mujhe kyon bata rahe hon, Manmohan Singh ke pass time kaha hai yeh sab sunene ke liye.

Finally he says with all his pride and valour intact, bolo saab chalna hai. Still you are requesting, No man, please don’t leave me alone in this deserted place, I feel scary (yes I do feel the same at 8:30 in CP, the CBD of Delhi). In Delhi, even men are also not safe after sun sets.

He made me realize that the prices of basic commodities has really skyrocketed. Its been more than six months since I last visited grocery store. And promised, if I contribute towards reneging Manmohan Singh out of office, he will charge me 40. In Mumbai, an autorickshaw driver is hardly bothered to understand the economic parameters. In Mumbai, you meet and greet a lot of people, who are talking about stock markets and gulping and churning market information, is their one and only motive for existence. While in Delhi, people are always talking about Soniaji, Manmohan Singh, Rahul Gandhi, Mayawati, Mulayam Singh and all the special human beings sitting above, below or around them.

At the same time, we can definitely talk about the Metro and the Mumbai local. Both have different meanings and importance in the lives of the people of two cities respectively. You do miss the madness of the Mumbai local? It is a phenomena on its own.

In Mumbai, I would search for my friends, who owns a car or who is able to lend a car to me. But in Delhi, all of my friends fly on four wheels except me, who has started to feel crippled without a car in Delhi.

In Mumbai, we always shop at malls, but in Delhi, even for the most upmarket and chic stuff, you visit markets, where you can roam on a street and window shop and loudspeakers are on, please take care of belongings and take care of your car, somebody may be trying to steal things by diverting your attention. Cars are parked in open. In Mumbai, most of the cars suffered from exhaustion by sitting and waiting for too long in cramped underground parking spaces.

Aur SirJi kaise hon. Everybody greets you with humbleness and respect, though most of them don’t feel the same, most of the time. The babugiri has seeped into the veins of every Delhiite, be it a peon. Nobody takes time to look at the watch. Everybody is running an hour or two late, which is like standard time.

I miss the professional and corporate culture of Mumbai, where you only talk about the work and not about bhabhiji, bache and kakaji, even if it is for the first time or nth time. In Delhi, besides work, people have time for all the schmuck burdening the earth.

Girls of Delhi and Mumbai. Mumbai girls are smarter than Delhi girls. Delhi girls are more beautiful and fair than Mumbai girls. Delhi girls like to get-up (no not dress up or make up), something is loud or bold on their body. Either a body curve, excessive lipstick, jhumke (earrings), dupatta, something is always over the board, as if they forgot to remove something after attending yesterday night’s party.

I am a foodie, so will definitely talk about food. Its difficult for a Punjabi to live on rice. In Mumbai, rice is the only reasonable (in terms of cost, time, hygiene and genuinity). But in Delhi, food just tastes awesome and the smell of it gives butterflies in your stomach. The sumptuous chicken tikka, kebab rolls, parantha and chhole and the thick daal. Every second day, somebody orders the delicious samosa in office. While in Mumbai, I was bored and saddened to eat the idlis, dosas, vada-pav, pav-bhaji and rice pulav, it’s difficult to survive on such such of food. BalaSaheb your Marathi brigade really deserves the accolade and the respect for eating and living on such food.

The list can be endless about n number of things, thoughts and perceptions. But to sum up, I have found average Mumbaikar lives as he has been send to spend some time on earth while Delhiite lives to eat and a comfortable life, without caring about money.

3 IDIOTS

With ‘3 Idiots’ I know I’m in the right. I’m just telling people to see the film and read my book. I know Aamir is a very powerful person. But finally the truth has to prevail, no? I’m no great artist, but there has to be fair play. I’m being accused of trying to get mileage. Ten lakh copies of the book have been sold. The book has been read by one crore readers. Wouldn’t they know the truth?

Finally after days of mud slinging over each other, Chetan Bhagat offered truce. Actually if we look into it, it was one way affair. Chetan Bhagat asserting his credit in the movie. There were hardly any comments from Aamir Khan or the maker of 3 Idiots. Then the media took over, who are experts in cooking biryani from plain rice. The media started discussing the credit points, same points, differences, percentages, 5%, 10%, 70% and 80%. When the media report came, Mr. Chetan Bhagat is paid Rs. 10 Lac for allowing filming rights to his novel, that is the end of the story. A creative person loses his world and charm and passion of his work. It is applicable to 3 Idiots film-makers and marketers too.

Or was it another marketing gimmick from one and all the interested parties. Aamir Khan possesses innovative market strategies. Had he thought, the name of the author/book could help him in leveraging his movie’s box office collections, Chetan Bhagat would have been laughing all his way to the bank. Chetan Bhagat saying in the end, I’m just telling people to see the film and read my book. Chetan Bhagat knows that a book only adds to numbers when it is released or when a movie is made on it. Like in the case of Slumdog Millionaire, the book was sold in lakhs after the movie release against its early distribution of 50,000. Chetan Bhagat knows anyhow after selling a million copies, this is the only chance to sell few more lakhs of copies of the book, esp. after the publisher had printed a million copies prior to the release of the movie (probably it may be the case). I don’t know how much credit should be given to the author of the book. In American/British movies, majority of the moviemakers don’t even mention the book and the author. The titles present only Based on Novel by ......, A Book Adaptation, etc. A filmmaker is inspired from a novel. A filmmaker can never ever justify the novel.

I would like to suggest to Mr. Chetan Bhagat, India is not a readers country. He should be really happy for his feat. His book made many Indians sit and read the one and only book of their life. In India, a book cannot compete with a movie. Indians like to watch movies. There’ll be very few people who will still read the novel. Majority of the people, who read novels before or after watching the movie, must have already read his novel.

Chetan Bhagat, himself said, ten lakh copies sold and one crore readers, need one say more. Most of the friends said after watching the movie, the novel was better. It’s difficult to share limelight/spotlight with Aamir Khan. In the end, these days only media wins, rest everybody is painted in an ugly frame.

Twenty Ten

Finally 2009 is over. I am not late or just woken up. Didn’t get time to publish it. It is always an exciting time of the year around Christmas. Everybody is looking at the year gone-by, the parties, the fun, the colours and the frolic. Though I miss the wintry chill of North, where I have spent 24 years of my life, wrapping yourself under layers of clothes, moving around with a blanket, holding hot cup of chai in hands to warm your body, the real taste of whiskey is felt in cold weather and the bon-fires.

I really don’t know or understood why people celebrate New Year. For the year goneby, the events, the moments, a flashback is so different from the normal routine. 2009 ending was special as we were waving goodbye to a decade. To a tumultuous decade. The decade evoAked to the fall of WTC in New York. The ultimate terrorist attack ever accomplished on a superpower. Suddenly the West realized how big the problem is and what poor nations and ill-equipped nation like our’s is undergoing. 9/11. 26/11, 7/11, 11 was symbolized for terror. Bali blasts, Madrid bombings, Tube blasts, Taj coup, so many dead and yet the fight for jihad is on. Osama Bin Laden seems like a case which will always be in progress. Al-Jazeera was one of the most sought after channels in the world. Afghanistan and Iraq fell, Pakistan will fall in the coming decade. Just pray India does not follow them. Coz when your neighbours are shouting, even you find it difficult to sleep. The talk of bombs and bombers was the supreme activity of this decade before Mr. Fuld took over.

The ending of 2009 was definitely an event to be celebrated. 2009 was one of the most painful years in past few decades. The pain inflicted by events of 2008 gave its conclusive results in 2009. 11’s were forgotten. Suddenly the World opened to a new phenomenon which nobody would have imagined in their wildest dreams. All the money that the Central Govt’s had printed was eaten away by rats. Americans would have been happy and restored peace by firing missiles on rats. But unfortunately those rats were American, so out of sympathy, they fed those rats with some more green paper and the diseased population spread to the world. It was only for few people like Indians and Chinese, who didn’t entertain those rats or fried those rats on their hotplates, respectively.

The World order changed in this decade. The people from BRICs, BASIC, Chindia, Emerging markets/nations were rubbing shoulders with the first world and would try and look straight in the eye, if not scare them. Hope something better comes out of it in the coming deacde. Otherwise, the process and the idea has changed globally. Orator Obama, sexy Sarkozy, dumb Brown, Madam Chancellor, everybody has changed and with them their outlook towards the world. India found water in space, for which NASA had spent billions of dollars.

This decade was extremely special for India. India was able to display to the World that we are capable and hopefully may come up with bigger surprises in the coming decade. We got one of the most intelligent and honest person in the country as our PM. Every politician falls short on his/her promises, but the good thing to notice is how many promises they were able to keep and what efforts they put in for those promises.

In technology space, laptops became cheaper than a typewriter, kids learn to operate mobile phone before they start speaking. So in the coming decade, you can expect some credit card sized gadget to be better equipped than your laptop, you blink about a message to be sent to your loved one, it will be their on his screen. Don’t look me as I’m fool, such things are happening and will happen, when companies are spending billions on cloud computing, Google is bidding for telecom spectrum to offer free internet services and guys like Pranav Mistry have built a cell phone sized super computer (that’s how I’d say it).

In entertainmwnt world, Playboy is up for sale. I don’t understand why Mr. Mallya didn’t bid for it. Everything came out of closet, when we have reality TV and people like Rakhi Sawant, who can make money and career out of bull shit. In the coming decade, expect the few sheets remaining on the bedside to be dumped. The whole flavor of naturalness will get more evolved. Already international celebs are posing in the name of vegans and greens. India is also in the race with them for everything so leave the glamour potion.

Cheers to 2010…………..!!!!!