Rhetoric of a Comic

Kunal Kamra, the not so famous and OK comedian, who erupted into the Indian Comedy scene, which largely developed from 2014 – 2019. Kunal’s face was amongst the thousands amateurs, who take a dig at being a comic, though when he started, there were only hundreds. He definitely is part of the first few artists, who broke out. One of his comic form was taking jibe at the Govt. Of course, we have to understand the Chronology, in which Govt. and PM and BJP party members shoot the Statements, to make sense of the satire that a comic presents in a situation.

Now suddenly, he is a national sensation that everybody wants to know, who is Kunal Kamra?

Not because he was doing his job as a comic or a satire, but he became a Journalist to a Journalist. Imagine the times, we are living in; that we have to question journalists. Trust me, following Kunal Kamra on Twitter is no content, following #kunalkamra is where the comedy and satire is laced and swooped on Twitter. Eventually, when a comic is serious is greater comedy.

Arnab Goswami, is so damn right in his response, by staying silent as he does his job on television by questioning the Opposition or building a false/deceptive narrative for the Govt. Arnab Goswami, was India’s finest journalist before 2015, till the time, he raised and asked questions from the Govt. Though many a times, it was his personal tirade against the Govt. instead of the learned panelists, he called on his show, but he was right. Particularly, his provocative style of delivery, delivered with expressions, disgust and hunger to get his point across. If he is condescending to his guests in the show, the choice lies with the guests.

Somehow, Indian Govt. saw talent of Arnab Goswami to act on live television and channelized his energy and anger on the Opposition instead of Govt. or to build the false or deceptive narrative around every story, every day. It is not easy, you really need to possess that highest level of talent to do it every day. Not even the finest actors (whether Hollywood or Bollywood) act everyday, that too by writing their own script. People forgot how he danced in his studio, when PM Modi was re-elected in 2019, even Modiji, himself or none of the BJP party members danced liked he danced. He was the only one to be seen live dancing on his channel by so many people. To compare, Kamra’s talent hits the line from where Arnab’s talent starts the process. Arnab’s silence needs to be supported and appreciated as a graceful citizen of democracy especially in public space.

The Govt. needs all the support it can garner from media, because today more decisions are taken on media than in the hallowed halls of bureaucracy. So much so, that the libtards (it is new term devised for liberal bastards like me) have started mentioning, Arnab Goswami and his gang as MODIA; because they build a propaganda to advantage the Govt. even if it is speck in the dirt but they spend their prime time show on it. Prime time is the most expensive real estate of television in any country.

The 100 seconds video relayed on Kunal Kamra’s twitter account, which he posted at his own discretion is not the huge piece of the tale. It becomes interesting, as soon as the Aviation Minister, tweets to ban Kunal Kamra from Air India flights as the Minister recommends on twitter with his tweet. Why are rules and regulations made for, if they are not to be followed? Kunal Kamra is banned for flying for his comic post in flight. Neither there is a complaint, nor a restraint, that a flying ban was imposed on him. The Govt. is so serious when a comic became serious; why can’t it be brushed off as sad post from a comic.

It is interesting the Govt. and its Ministers are able to conduct business on Twitter. Shouldn’t the Minister have requested the appropriate authority to investigate the matter and take action accordingly. Ideally, the crew members of the Airline make a complaint against a particular passenger on the request of other passengers. But let’s not talk about the Govt. of India subverts its own rules to justify an action and a decision. We have seen always; whether its demonetization and Article 370.

Our Hon’ble Aviation Minister is the one, who pulled the satire in this whole episode of a comedian, when the comic became News Reporter. And the news reporter did the full scoop of comedy in the days that followed on 30^th January, 2020 by building a false narrative of the news, which is available in black & white for everybody to witness. As if Arnab Goswami should have put a disclaimer, this is the rough class of my comedic act that I am presenting with the authority given to me by the I & B Ministry to twist and magnify the process of reporting as it deems fit to his thought process or the defiant mandate from the Govt. to Modia (Media will be gross injustice).

Still nobody has stated about what Kunal Kamra’s crime is and under which rules and regulations, he is penalized. He is pulling the pun all on himself to be the master of comedy he pretends to be but certainly he is now, do not assume, the ticket prices of his shows are not shooting up. Aviation Minister should be busy in ensuring Air India is sold and the honest tax payers money is saved and not looted further, when his Hon’ble Minister could have tweeted, appropriate authority will take action on the complaint (if lodged).

Aviation Minister had to show the power of his Govt. and the authority Modia possesses not only on channel (under I&B Ministry) but even on streets. You cannot heckle them and get away with it and be proud of it. Who pulled the pun on whom? When the comic became the journalist, journalist is the authority and authority became the comic.

Slapped, Kicked and Butted

SANJAY DUTT – I am freaking getting bored of this name. Every newspaper, news channel is giving some or the other update every hour after his appeal has been withheld. It is not going to stop, when he gets to jail, there will be everyday news, who is meeting him, what is he eating, his clothes, his water, his toilet schedules, every thing will be discussed. TV is not provided to Sanjay Dutt, Sanjay Dutt is distributing his DVDs for free in jail. Another level of stupid absurdity will be played in Indian Media.

Debates are programmed, right or wrong, good or bad. Indian Legal System is lethargic or stupid, whatever. Sanjay Dutt is a good Bollywood actor, whose father allowed beggars and street peddlers to live on street. His mother died of cancer in early 1980’s when scientists were trying to define cancer. Maybe his influential and fearless deceased father is the reason. Whether or not he is a victim of political rivalry.

Is he the only one in our Indian system? Or is he the most underprivileged child or man in this country? Let’s assume he is innocent, so a lot of people get punished even if they have not committed the crime. His case is wrong place at the wrong time, perhaps. But he himself admits, I was young and I was stupid. So he is praying the price of his stupidity.

Sanjay Dutt is an Indian citizen who has been sentenced to 5.5 years of imprisonment. Period.

Actor Sanjay Dutt, who has been convicted under the Arms Act for his role in the 1993 Mumbai bombings, said Thursday that he would surrender when the time comes and would not be seeking pardon. Speaking out for the first time since the Supreme Court ruling last week, Sanjay appealed to the media for privacy and said: “...When I am not going for pardon, there is no debate.”

An emotional Sanjay, who broke down while addressing the media, said he had the highest respect for the court. “This a very, very tough time,” he said. “Just let me be in peace till I go in.” He said he would be completing his work commitments. He was accompanied at the press conference by his sister and Congress MP Priya Dutt.

I enjoy his acting, particularly his Munnabhai character. I am saying this. One of our leading Judge, the man who words become law, Justice Markandey Katju said Sanjay is a good actor and he entertained, hence he should be pardoned.

Lets say if I commit a crime and I say, I am a joker in my face so on those grounds, kindly pardon me.

Sanjay Dutt today only some miracle can keep him prison. What is this crap?

A reminder, this sentence was earlier granted by a Special Court which has been appealed at the Higher Court and Higher Court upheld the verdict. Sanjay himself, I believe in the Indian Justice System, then what’s there to make a fuss about?

Press reports, he is overworking and trying to complete his commitments, which man or person wouldn’t finish or try to finish his/her commitments before going to jail. Besides Sanjay Dutt has already spent 18 months in prison in early 1990’s, so he has only four years left to do his time in prison.

There are laws in a country. Anybody who defies it, should be punished. In India, whosoever gets caught gets punished.

Sanjay Dutt should be fighting for the cause that he had whatsoever no hand in any of the bomb blasts that took place in Bombay.

In India, whenever media starts drumming the story, the cause or the purpose is always lost.

Sanjay Dutt may or could have found a way to avoid jail for some more time but once the media takes over, they take away your happiness and the genuine concerns, which need to be highlighted get lost in the high profile drama like a Bollywood Movie’s plot.

Live enjoyment in Peepli

The LIVE word can be construed as live as in live matches or live as we live our lifes.

Peepli Live, most of my friends comprehended, it will be a bore. So what if Aamir Khan is promoting it, it need not be a good movie? And why not Aamir Khan should promote it? He is the producer. When you watch the movie, you realize, you required Aamir Khan to promote this movie? There are interactions, press conferences, you need a face to represent the movie. The posters do reveal a lot about the movie, a poor rural family, few mikes hanging from the top, media swarming from the top, LIVE word in frame and a handpump. So what if the whole caste and the issue is pasted on it? You have little or no idea, how its going to play? One of the rare posters, which captures and narrates the real characters of the movie and summons it at appropriate places.

Take a dig at the other poster pictured below. It a tempu, the mass transporter of rural India. In my native place, it is known as bhoond (Punjabi word for honey bee). It is distastingly painted black with some part of it yellow, may be the front hood or the top part. But the sight of tempu is the same in any part of our truly majestic India, people are hanging from all sides and their daily wares.

Peepli Live is one of the rare movies of Bollywood, which was running without (count it), a named and famed director, no famed actor, no famed actress, no dream sequences, no dances, no item number, no burning issue, no action, no romance, no melodrama, no crying, barely music (definitely can be defined as antonym of musical). What the movie contains? Just the way India was and currently it is progressing. A very nice written and delivered script revolving around a very small incident but a very big issue for India. We should learn to laugh at ourselves that is what director has tried to aim. If you feel ashamed, do something about it? Until then keep laughing at your plight.

Peepli Live is a satire on farmer’s suicide. But I believe, honestly, it is a satire on media and our political system or perhaps the way our country is being run. The moot point the director raises, a farmer may not till his/her land, may not require money/food. All they want is the respect for their lands. We are not able to provide them with a single way of existence, aim, mission, vision and dream of our life.

Media star characters are brilliantly brought to the front. Perhaps a spoof or original cut-outs of Barkha Dutt of NDTV and Chaurasia of AajTak (don’t know if this fellow has switched employers, well must have, we all do). Media is the most creative industry in India. They can make and create a movie and an issue with nobody. This is what they have depicted in the movie. They are trying to address an issue of farmer suicide. Yet it is the last thing, on their mind.

Every character plays to his part with such elegance and poise. The media personnel as they are hogging like dogs and spewing like donkeys. Natha, the real face of the movie, has barely one or two dialogues. But his expressions make his character. I have no idea what is happening in my life, why is it happening and what I am supposed to do about it? Just listens and barely responds. Raghubir Yadav, one of the finest actors in India. The wife, as women are (oh sorry as rural woman are), always screaming and abusing their husbands and in laws.

Politicians and IAS officers, as they are in real life, we are only here to show and project that we are trying to do things. The only beneficiary in the name of WE the people is me, me and me. The handpump in the picture below is granted under the Lal Bahadur Shastri scheme by the District Collector. Natha does ask for the fitting expenses but that is not part of the scheme. Nobody talks about his loan or his land in possession of the bank.

Finally the amma, whose only working limb is her tongue and she uses it to perfection to abuse at every opportunity and appropriate time anybody who comes in front of her. Especially her bahu (daughter in law) with kulta, naaspiti, karamjali, abhouri, naagin, daayein and yes there are few prefixing family relations too.

The ending does not possess a happy ending like a typical Bollywood masala, boy hugging the girl’s parents. Such movies never have a happy ending, instead it creates another level of disruption with no conclusion.

Conclusion or no conclusion, do watch it in theatre and definitely finds a place in the selected DVDs section.

3 IDIOTS

With ‘3 Idiots’ I know I’m in the right. I’m just telling people to see the film and read my book. I know Aamir is a very powerful person. But finally the truth has to prevail, no? I’m no great artist, but there has to be fair play. I’m being accused of trying to get mileage. Ten lakh copies of the book have been sold. The book has been read by one crore readers. Wouldn’t they know the truth?

Finally after days of mud slinging over each other, Chetan Bhagat offered truce. Actually if we look into it, it was one way affair. Chetan Bhagat asserting his credit in the movie. There were hardly any comments from Aamir Khan or the maker of 3 Idiots. Then the media took over, who are experts in cooking biryani from plain rice. The media started discussing the credit points, same points, differences, percentages, 5%, 10%, 70% and 80%. When the media report came, Mr. Chetan Bhagat is paid Rs. 10 Lac for allowing filming rights to his novel, that is the end of the story. A creative person loses his world and charm and passion of his work. It is applicable to 3 Idiots film-makers and marketers too.

Or was it another marketing gimmick from one and all the interested parties. Aamir Khan possesses innovative market strategies. Had he thought, the name of the author/book could help him in leveraging his movie’s box office collections, Chetan Bhagat would have been laughing all his way to the bank. Chetan Bhagat saying in the end, I’m just telling people to see the film and read my book. Chetan Bhagat knows that a book only adds to numbers when it is released or when a movie is made on it. Like in the case of Slumdog Millionaire, the book was sold in lakhs after the movie release against its early distribution of 50,000. Chetan Bhagat knows anyhow after selling a million copies, this is the only chance to sell few more lakhs of copies of the book, esp. after the publisher had printed a million copies prior to the release of the movie (probably it may be the case). I don’t know how much credit should be given to the author of the book. In American/British movies, majority of the moviemakers don’t even mention the book and the author. The titles present only Based on Novel by ......, A Book Adaptation, etc. A filmmaker is inspired from a novel. A filmmaker can never ever justify the novel.

I would like to suggest to Mr. Chetan Bhagat, India is not a readers country. He should be really happy for his feat. His book made many Indians sit and read the one and only book of their life. In India, a book cannot compete with a movie. Indians like to watch movies. There’ll be very few people who will still read the novel. Majority of the people, who read novels before or after watching the movie, must have already read his novel.

Chetan Bhagat, himself said, ten lakh copies sold and one crore readers, need one say more. Most of the friends said after watching the movie, the novel was better. It’s difficult to share limelight/spotlight with Aamir Khan. In the end, these days only media wins, rest everybody is painted in an ugly frame.

26/11

Today is the 26/11 and the year is 2009, exactly one year since one of the deadliest terror attacks on India, where the coup lasted for 60 hours. 11 has become one of the most significant digits in the number system of this universe and a synonym for terror. There are very few numbers which represent a term. Ever since 9/11, which took place in America on September 11th, 2001, all the terror attacks are named after their date and every possible and impossible attempt is made to bring the number 11 in the date. In 9/11, the MM-DD pattern is followed, in 26/11, DD-MM pattern is followed, same was the case with blasts in Indonesia or Spain. Americans define the standards in terms of terrorists even.

I was lucky to reach my office at Nariman Point uninterruptedly today. There was huge mela of the mediapersons all through the Marine Drive. They were talking to people, telling people where the attacks took place, how, what, when and how do feel type questions. In the background, they are playing all the patriotic songs. It’s really a nice thing to commemorate the victims and remember the martyrs.

Media has made a hullaballoo of the whole issue. You give them only raw rice and they’ll serve you “biryani”. No terror attack has been handled by media in such detailed and provocative manner. Bomb blasts in 1993, the train blasts in 2006, Parliament attack, no terror incident has been reported like 26/11. Does India need to have its own 9/11 to boast about? Now we have one. The World fancies all the things American. Our media must have missed a commemoration monument like Ground Zero. So the army marched with the launch of new special task force named “FORCE ONE” from Hotel Oberoi to Chaupati, popularly known as Marine Drive. Mallya may claim his ownership rights and title on the name, FORCE ONE. I really don’t understand, why you need to build a memorial for a terror attack. Cover that space up, build bigger and better towers than Trade Centre. Allow people to leave and live past their wounds. It’s not a healthy sign to live with our wounds. Only person who will remember 26/11 forever is Mr. Vilasrao Deshmukh. He lost his CM status because of his stupidity after attacks.

Coming back on the importance of 26/11 over other terror attacks. All others were bomb blasts, but this was a hostage situation and ill-equipped security forces took a day to gather and develop a strategy, that’s why it was stretched to 60 hours. Sorry to say, it was not 60 hours of terror. My office is situated on the back of Hotel Oberoi and some of my colleagues were working in office when terrorists struck and were working the next day even which was Saturday. The tension existed at the spots, but the whole country was not held hostage to terrorists but to media panic.

Every other person who came on TV, newspaper, last year and this year, got their two minutes of fame because of 26/11. Media people, they keep on pondering on the same boring questions, how do you feel, what do you have to say, right now and after one year and so on and so forth. The only problem or situation arrived due to 26/11 is they have created fortresses of Business Hotels. People in Mumbai do not have so much time to lament for weeks, months or a year. They move on, that’s why this city has been still building inspite of all the horrific attacks for the last two decades. But the big man who took all the limelight was Ajmal Kasab. Kasab has become a living legend, for those who may dream or are forced to take up terrorism as the profession. I just hope the cost of keeping a terrorist alive, pays. At times, I believe, he was too small a mole in this whole piece to divulge any details and should have been drugged and killed and his body handed over to his parents in Pakistan. On the other hand, we are just waiting to hear and know that he gives some strong points and atrocious version of the Pakistani approach against India. Our PM lately made very applauding points during his visit to USA.

A terror attack will not be one, if it is not able to spread terror. LeT, Lashkar and all their brotherhood should be rest assured that their one act will be played thousand times over several years by Indian media to keep the feelings and fear alive in the minds of Indian public. I empathize with our media, in our job, we are looking for thrill and out of box/context ideas to scale the ladder and enliven our lives. It’s not everyday, they get to cover a live attack. It was THE MOMENT of the media industry. But still they need to show a little amount of responsibility and the same reason why they are not welcomed at most of the places.

On the first completion of a no-terror attack on India from fundamentalists across the country, we should come together and pray for the lost souls of 26/11.

Spare Sachin, Save Balasaheb

Sachin didn’t hit a Six on completing twenty years of his Career in International Cricket but clean bowled from a dead ball by Mr. Bal Thackeray. 20 years is a long time? I am already bored after two years in my job. Completing 20 years in International cricket is the biggest feat even above his scoring records. There have been fewer than few gentlemen in cricket to complete 20 years in International cricket. A sportsperson has a short span of career. That too at the age of 37 with flying colours with records which few complete cricket teams cannot even boast. Everybody, no matter how big or small that person is in International Cricket has oodles to write about Sachin Tendulkar. Sachin Tendulkar offers enough to everybody to read and write and that too, sans controversy in a country where Cricket is RELIGION and Sachin is GOD. Clearly do Indians think that their GOD said something which hurt their feelings? I don’t think so, anybody will say that, even my Marathi friends will agree with him.

Everybody agreed and bowed to their GOD except Bal Thackeray. Bal Thackeray is acting like a YAMRAJ, he may be for few Marathi’s. A cartoonist, who used to make others tickle with his black lines cannot allow himself to be mocked at. Sachin clearly, did tread the path which leapt straight into the path of Mr. Thackeray. Udhav Thackeray (son of Bal Thackeray) said, Mumbai meri baap ke hai (Mumbai belongs to my father). I don’t have anything bad to mouth about Sachin Tendulkar (even if I do as if it matters). Rather I admire him the most in the world; I would like to be Sachin Tendulkar of whichever field I dedicate myself too. He gave a perfect answer, Mumbai belongs to the Indians, a geographically, politically, historically, mentally and emotionally correct answer.

But then on the flipside, we should not cold shoulder Mr. Bal Thackeray, he has built his self-ego, the false issues to further deteriorate the lives of his Marathi manoos as he calls them, over a period of thirty years or probably equivalent to Sachin Tendulkar’s age. Balasaheb has to do few things before his nephew raised by Balasaheb, will take up all the dead issues of Shiv Sena under the new banner of MANSE (popularized version of MNS) with the fresh appeal. Back in my neighbourland, manoos might be read as ma-noos, which means manhoos (one who brings unfortunate to others) in Hindi. Nobody can allow a messiah of Marathi pride, to be over-ruled by GOD of cricket, who himself is Marathi. My appeal to media is, it does not matter whatever you write about Balasaheb or Sach, it is not going to undo what they have said and done in their career.

I don’t understand why, politicians are most sensitive and insecure people on this Earth. They, themselves, don’t believe in themselves or their ideologies. They want people to have faith in them. It cannot be true. Sachin didn’t bad mouth anybody, he expressed his thoughts. Balasaheb debunked the deeds of 20 years of one of the finest gentleman in India in 20 seconds. Media in India, probably needs to unlearn and then learn the process of feeding and processing news or to build a story. They should try to look at positive perspective of things. India as a developing nation with 1.05 billion population requires that positivity. If they find it difficult, probably Sachin can give them a piece.

Hypocrisy of the Media

Ramu’s sick joke
Must have read the above story on August 4, 2009 in Mumbai Mirror, in which the media objects to the marketing strategy of the upcoming movie of Ramgopal Varma (RGV), Agyaat as a Sick Joke, wherein the producers have hung a dummy of a dead man on the posters of their movie, Agyaat. People thought it’s a dead body and complain to Police about the same. Police remove the dummy man from the poster and only then they realize it’s a dummy. What can you say about RGV, who is a self-confessed Howard Roark? Who has made his to the top his way and who still likes to follow his way and believes every person should follow his/her own way in life rather than aping others. Such path is said and taken by people who are genius. Yes they are, they do pose a danger to the society. Although I personally do believe in what RGV says.

Last Thursday, July 30, 2009 Mumbai Mirror published the story on the negligence of the construction companies in Mumbai and how badly it had damaged the eye of one of the passers-by on the road near the construction site. The scam these construction companies are running in Mumbai is out of the question. Mumbai Mirror may or might be doing some stories on them. Well what can you say to the construction companies to take care of the amenities in and around the site and need to show civil obedience and corporate responsibility while undertaking such tasks? They are not able to provide protective gear to their workers which is mandatory under different legislations like Factories Act and Workers Act. It will be inappropriate from our side to expect that they will maintain the civil obedience.

The most disturbing element was not the contention of the Story but the cover page Picture. The cover Page Picture is so disturbing and sickening that children might get frightened looking at the image. Media should act responsibly and take some responsibility for their actions. They cannot hold the whole nation to the ransom to their vested interests.

The picture of the same female in the inner sections of the page is not that harrowing. I can understand her pain and suffering. In other ways, some people may appreciate the photography quality and idea of the picture to show the pain she is going through and the injustice and indifference shown by the industrial/construction companies towards the common public.

If you feel or believe that media was justified in its action/reaction to Ram Gopal Varma. We need to think about ourselves and our nation. Media owes a responsibility to the society for its actions. It creates the perceptions in the society.

But then what do we make out of the hypocritic attitude of media, which uses any person/incident to its fancy. The way they can mileage and score few brownie points.