Royalty still has chance

To be successful in Indian television broadcasting market and make oodles of money, design or copy a reality show. But the Manoranjan ka baap or Enterntainment ki saas, IPL beats everything when it is compared to any other show on television. Ekta Kapoor made us believe that we are a bunch of sadists, schadenfreudes who just love tears. Inspite of all the drama, brouhaha and the bullshit enveloping IPL, there are no tears in IPL. We don’t need a bag of tissue box, just a beer and some munchies.

Lalit Modi blames, Shah Rukh will dance naked, Shilpa will kiss, Preity will hug, cheers will glow, it is undisputed mother of all reality shows. External Affairs Minister is on the verge of losing his job. Agriculture Minister was briefing for Ms. Pushkar, some model, owner, who danced, ramp walked, marketed, owned, God knows what; during the harvesting season (Baisakhi). The only difference between IPL and all other reality shows is the choice of winner is not demanded (shown, fabricated – without getting into the specifics) by an SMS.

Is IPL also a scripted story like reality shows to add more drama and action for the viewers to watch? Well I know I am staring at the Yorkers and batting without the Gaurd. To say a little about T-20 format, its just the matter of how many sixes you can hit or wickets you can pluck in 15th to 18th over for any team who wishes to win, especially when playing second innings. This year, it seems the matches results have been designed keeping in mind the egos or the deep pockets of the team owners.

But then after 50 odd matches (yeah 49 to be precise) and only seven games left for the Semi-Finals, we are still working out the probabilities about who may stand a chance to enter the SEMIs. Only Mumbai Indians will certainly play in SEMIs and Kings XI is playing only for deriving the valuation figures for its owners and for the semis, they can dream about IPL-4.

The other six teams are still hanging whether they will or will not qualify for the SEMIs. I’d say the same even for Bangalore, although they are on No. 2 in the points tally, with only one game left and if Deepika and Katrina don’t come to cheer and clap for the team together, they might be shaking their heads at No. 6 position. Bangalore has better chances for SEMIs, compared to other probabilities. RCB will be facing MI for its final league match. Still five teams end up hoarding up for 2nd, 3rd and 4th position.

Rajasthan Royals, I am pretty bored of Royalty people around me. They have bored me to death, analysis, permutations, combinations, cheers, facebook, twitter, everywhere everything revolves around Royalty. As if Shilpa will dance for each one of them, if they win. Still I’d suggest them not to lose hopes, if Royalty pays off in their last match and other teams lose and win in the right manner (averages matter), they may see Yusuf Pathan (after hitting two sixes) getting out once more. They will be praying for better performance from Kings XI.

Delhi Daredevils has both matches against teams who are also vouching for a position in the SEMIs, so those will be nail biting matches.

Shah Rukh Khan has accepted his team’s failure, which means the team has been instructed not to play well for the upcoming matches. But if they wish to reach SEMIs and win both the matches, SRK may have to dance naked.

CSK and Deccan have both, two matches against Delhi and Kings XI. Lets see how much charge devils can dare to or super kings swipe the devils who dare or Kings XI continues with its Pawn XI strategy.

Hope rajasthan proves their royalty sums. Knight Riders truly shows that they know how to ride like Knights even when royalty is deducted and Indians don’t cheer. Until then just watch how royal is the challenge to the Indians.

Whether the permutations/combinations work or don’t will be sorted out in a week’s time, until then the Creative Producer/Writer/Director (Lalit Modi) is the only person enjoying his time on the show.

My Name is Khan (or whatever)

In Bollywood, if you name ShahRukh or Amitabh Bachchan in the interview or any view/idea to the media, you can be assured of additional space in the media. Some of the people, do try to name them. As part of the glamour industry, we understand that you need to create furore (negative or positive) by our continuous presence in media circles. But the politicians stooping to such low levels, especially when we have names like BalaSaheb getting into such murky affair is really shameful. BalaSaheb is a very respected person and politician, though as person that may be doubtful, but still. For all his insecurities and the ramblings, we should discount his age and the fact, that one of the powerful and invincible person (read person not as person) of Mumbai has been licking his wounds due to betrayal by his own nephew. Bala Saheb is an immensely talented and much better entertainer than Shah Rukh Khan. Read his comments in their party magazine, Saamna, the thoughts are indeed very refreshing jokes vis-à-vis the double meaning jokes that we cherish these days. Shah Rukh cannot never pull such kind of entertainment for his audience.

Karan Johar, the producer of My Name is Khan ensured to his audience and the fans of SRK that adequate security has been provided at all the 63 cinema screens across Mumbai, which will be screening My Name is Khan. Mr. Johar, you can go to police but cannot talk to BalaSaheb. You guys are at war with him, why should the audience be victim? We are neutral, neither supporting nor opposing. Bala Saheb possesses his own unique way of looking at things. Amitabh Bachchan apologized for a small remark by Jaya Bachchan in an informal gathering to Manse (MNS, lead by the child prodigy of Bala Saheb). Why cant Mr. Khan apologize to Bala Saheb?

I know SRK does not owe any apology to Bala Saheb. What he felt and said as a team owner and not as Muslim, Indian, Pakistani, entertainer. Bala Saheb, perhaps, believes that SRK is part of Congress and if he apologizes, he would feel Sonia has apologized to his Laughiness (a new word replicating the stature of Holiness/Highness). So much property will be destroyed and an atmosphere of hatred, fear and insecurity will be created for satisfying the ego of Mr. Bala Saheb.

Bala Saheb may be fuming why the movie is named, My Name is Khan. Unfortunately, Bala Saheb, you or you dumb shreds had no role in 9/11. Otherwise, the movie could have been titled My Name is Bhatwadekar/ or something like that.

In the meantime, SRK instead of promoting his film, is unperturbed to show and communicate his Indianness and he is not a Pakistani. I can’t imagine if somebody asks me to prove, I am an INDIAN, why I am Indian, how much I am Indian? Honestly, I don’t have any answer for that. Perhaps, my birth certificate, if you believe it is true and correct. But SRK hats off to you, he is really trying to pull this off.

From where the whole idea started? SRK commented on the exclusion of Pak players from IPL auction that he would have liked the presence of one or two Pakistani players. Inn comes Bala Saheb to invigorate our Indianness and our security issue and is helping us in believing that SRK is a traitor and not an Indian. So what even if he is not? What is Shiv Sena going to make out of it? Shiv Sena stands by and to protect the Mumbai and the Marathi manoos. You cannot prevent your own farmers from committing suicide, what is the point of saving them from whosoever they feel is threatening, frightening them. Mumbai, for God sake, only Thackeray possess the sensibility to destroy Mumbai. Mumbai is not a place or geography. It’s a spirit; it’s the benchmark, which means India for zillions of traders and business travelers. We are talking about making Mumbai, a cosmopolitan, where people of all spheres and walks of life, religions and nationalities, co-exist to create unique phenomena.

Bala Saheb, also alleged, his party will attack Australian cricketers for attacking Indians in Australia. My only stand, if they (Australian, Pakistani, American, Indonesian) attack anybody (India, Afghanistan, Japan, Veitnam), it’s a news, a blunder but still I can attack and threaten anybody, anywhere.

My humble request to Bala Saheb, to focus on the protection of his Marathi manoos, by undertaking something productive for them and leave the larger national issues, esp. issues pertaining to India. Nahi to, aapka bhatija, aapka bacha-kucha bhi lae jayega.

Is it a regional or a religion issue?

Shahrukh Khan was detained in a US airport. So whats the big deal when hundreds and thousands of Muslims get detained travelling from any part of the globe in US. Everybody is talking about it. We have so many media modes (television, radio, newspapers, internet) and channels (hundreds of them) these days that everybody comes up with their own story and the whole essence of the story is lost. Every star, politician, citizen is commenting on the fact.

Some say, its nothing new, others its bad or its ugly. Shah Rukh Khan is upset. Upset has several reasons by different sources. “I am global celebrity”, a newspaper quoted. Well he may not be a global celebrity. Every Muslim star in India has been through a situation in an airport in USA, be it Zayed, Irfan, Kabir or any other Khan/ Malik or whosever it is. But has done enough in his life single handedly to be called KING. Definitely such people are global citizens. I had earlier reiterated the fact in my New York article. Salman Khan quoted because of this tight security check, they have avoided the threat of another 9/11. But I am sure next time any attack happens in USA, it will not be implemented by Muslims. They may be planners but will find somebody else to execute the plan. But the most disheartening fact is the way, we are marginalizing a community.

I am a huge fan of SRK personally. Not for his performance, which is at times is quite bogus. But for his thoughts and witty remarks. There are very few in this world who can or have been able to make such a name for themselves. He made a very wonderful point.

I will go to the US when work demands but I will limit my travels. I have no
complaints against the system but I wish it could be more streamlined and less
cumbersome.

Moreover USA has one of the most stringent process for obtaining a visa. If they have done all the checks at the time of visa with your background check and fingerprints and photograph on the visa. Plus it is updated on all their records at the embassy and the parent database in USA, when is the person scheduled to travel, the purpose of his travel and still they cordon off the Muslims with a cumbersome and a tortuous process of knowing about them. If America is so paranoid of Muslims travelling in USA. They can close down their embassies from the countries from which they have potential threat including India. An absurd idea, but never underestimate Americans.

But we live in a small world. Even superpowers cannot live in isolation. Globalization is shrinking the world.

It’s a very tricky situation we are living in. America is a very enterprising nation. One can think and do the thing. It is the Land of Possibilities. The country gives space to any person in the World. But their deeds to protect themselves is marginalizing the World from the USA. Neither USA can sustain nor does the World have the propensity for the same.

I wish SRK using his image can bring some change in the precarious situation/condition that the World is slumping into. Although it is something which is too ambitious that we are trying to put on him.