Smile Please

Family gatherings are so much fun. Especially in today’s fast pace world, when everybody is neck deep in their worldly affairs. So an occasion for the family to allow them to come together is the moment to cherish. I was meeting my family, extended family for my elder brother’s engagement ceremony. I meet my elder aunt (mausi), you are getting better with age. Perhaps she found a new world after becoming grandmother. No there’s something with her teeth, her brown pouty teeth were now replaced with white structured dentist’s teeth. She possessed a completely new kind of smile. I somehow found it too fake. But her smile made me remember of somebody, my mother’s aunt (chachi). My mausi’s smile completely resembled her aunt’s smile and pout. I realized we all can sport the same smile with the dentist’s teeth. Imagine the whole world posing with the artificial smile. The smile, the most inherent element of any person’s outside personality and charisma.

Life on Two Wheels: Nostalgic

Search in your porch, backyard, godown, you will find a piece of machine in this fashion. Talk to your father, they’ll be nostalgic with the first scooter of their life. The iconic brand to put Indians on the running machine is stopping scooter production. We had spoken about Maruti and how it changed the car market of India. But the real change was brought by Bajaj.

In late 1970’s or early 1980’s as Indian society was getting educated and looking to make life in urban districts. Though today’s rural are better off than 1980’s urbans. But still our parents and grandparents will be nostalgic with the above logo and the tagline Hamara Bajaj.

Buland Bharat ki buland tasveer,

Hamara Bajaj, Hamara Bajaj.

Some of our uncle’s may talk about the Lambretta, the Italian two wheeler, which was taken to fancy. Of course, Lambretta was not as sexy as seen in picture, especially because of the noise it created. Skeleton of Labretta (picture below).

I had my first ride on Lambretta. It has its special place but I have more fond memories with Bajaj. It was Bajaj scooter which changed the landscape of two-wheeler market of India.

People thumped their chests with pride whenever they showed their shining Bajaj Scooter to people/neighborhood standing in porch or the street. They would spend hours cleaning and shining (though there were no shiny metallic shades in those times) their Bajaj scooter. Nowadays we don’t even bother or feel half the excitement as our parents, even after buying a sedan car.

Owning a Bajaj scooter was their biggest achievement in life. Especially when the manufacturer had license to manufacture limited number of scooters and every upper class/middle class Indian wanted one in their porch/drawing room. You need to book a Bajaj scooter for months in advance, call influential people to ensure the scooter is delivered on time.

As a kid, I would fight with my brother to allow me to stand in front of the scooter holding the handle. It was pure fun. Oops for the next generation, it means standing on a running scooter between the driver and the handle. No doubt, I’d lose to my brother in the beginning as he was taller and I ran the risk of banging my face on the handle. Later when he got taller to distract diver with his height, I had chance to stand with my father but then my father bought his first car by that time. But then I’d pursue my parents not to take my brother.

Riding on scooter was fun. Playing and imitating the ridiculous boring scooter sounds/noises with themovement of the hands was another activity for recreation. Playing all the innocent child indoor games perched on the scooter instead of sitting at home. If father noticed, he would scold, remove your shoes or get down from the scooter; you are scratching my baby with your shoes.

One of the ultra compressed fusion version of scooter and moped, SUNNY was launched by Bajaj in mid 1990’s. Sachin Tendulkar was the Brand Ambassador. Sunny was amongst the first few gearless scooter in India. It was like a small genset engine fitted in a bigger toy.

Sunny was made from plastic and would shout and cry even if two people exceeding 40 kgs would sit on it. I can bet on it, it’d move if a 60 kg person sat on Sunny. It was more of a sport for kids and teens for parents who were cautious in handing over their kids a gear scooter. The first machined vehicle that I ever drove in my life.

The scooter in the picture above is amongst the latest model of scooter launched by Bajaj under Bajaj Chetak trademark. School and college life was fun because of the Bajaj scooter. Especially in school, after cycle, Bajaj scooter was single biggest elevation step in life. You progress and move ahead. When all your fellow cyclist classmates are holding your shoulder with one hand and another hand on bicycle and first shoulder by second hand and so on and you are practically helping half a dozen friends to ride on their own bicycles without peddling.

Then came the college life, when your scooter becomes a car. You don’t even remember how many times only you or two had taken ride on it. At least three or at times four and stealing petrol from others scooter to feed the gas guzzling two wheeler. Actually Bajaj was amongst the most efficient but unfortunately in comparison to bikes, scooters couldn’t match the efficiency of bikes. You approach your first love with Bajaj scooter by your side. Standing at the other end of the narrow bylane of the girl’s house and waiting for the girl you wish to propose or your girlfriend, only Bajaj scooter was my partner in my tryst of destiny.

For impressing girls, LML Vespa was significantly helpful as it was stylish and more associated with youth. So I would borrow my friend’s LML at times to chase the girls.

Besides making love stories successful, Bajaj helped and contributed immensely towards building homes. It helped people move across their daily needs on this scooter. Carrying and dropping their loved ones from one part to other part of the city. Driving Bajaj was fun and everybody who owned a scooter had a smile on his/her face.

Riding with the family on scooter. Man, wife and their two/three kids. This inspired Mr. Ratan Tata to develop One Lac Rupee car for the middle class population of India. It was a truly Indian scooter designed for use for an Indian family unlike Vespa or Lambretta. Bajaj had a carriage in the front, storage side on the left rear, a stepny on the back for holding the family onto the scooter.

As a mode of transportation, shopkeepers, SME owners ferried and marketed their goods on Bajaj scooter. Bikes are incapable to perform such onerous tasks of carrying goods. Bajaj ruled the roost with the carriages and boxes can be piled on any side of this scooter, front, back, side, between the legs. At times, the driver would be seen driving with his leg dangling in the air, folded and piled on top of the box, stretching the leg on top of the boxes with the little space to apply brakes on the right side.

Now the world has moved and so have the expectations of the people. Even Bollywood makes use of the Bajaj scooter to indicate the bechara (pitiable) condition of their protagonist. I have not reference, but still notice the brilliant colours of Bajaj Scooter. Nobody can think of driving anything if presented in these colours. It was also another striking feature of Bajaj scooter.

Later Bajaj introduced heavy and more macho scooter like Bajaj Legend. But people still have memories with the original Bajaj or their longest running range of Chetak scooters. The word Chetak is symbolic as it is derived from the name of horse of Maharana Pratap, who was thought to be the fastest and most efficient horse of Indian history.

Times change, motives change, a new world order emerges. Now the Bajaj’s logo has gone for complete overhaul with the younger generation taking charge of the company and the market. The scooters portfolio has been replicated by the bikes. In future, even bikes will be replaced by cars.

Mr. Rahul Bajaj, the Chairman of Bajaj Auto Ltd., the man who put India on wheels is not happy (we should be mentioning sad here) with the MD’s decision to completely stop the production of scooters. Rajeev Bajaj, the elder son of Mr. Rahul Bajaj is the Managing Director of Bajaj Auto Ltd.

Rajeev Bajaj is clear, businesses are not built on emotions but rational business decisions. Rahul Bajaj says it is not about emotions, “I care less for the solution from emotions, I believe more in the magic of logic”. Its OK, Mr Bajaj, there’s no logic, we are also emotional and nostalgic about our Bajaj scooter. The press note should not mean much. As practically two or three years back, Bajaj had stopped production of scooters. In future, one or two rare Bajaj scooters one may find will be as seen under:

P.S.: You can watch the commercials of Bajaj on www.vido4veit.com, which will take us through the journey of emotions, India of 1980’s and 1990’s, how our society has evolved. The stories and characters we lived through our childhood.

Calling hubby names not cruel, says HC

Calling the husband ‘bhondu’, ‘pagal’, ‘bewakoof’ and making fun of his low educational qualifications does not amount to cruelty and is not a ground for divorce, the Bombay high court has ruled.

Imagine Bombay HC saying this thing, it has hit the last nail in the coffin. The dividing gap amongst the power in the household in the hands of a female has been evident since ages. The female was always an in-charge of the household and the man posed as the head of the family. Now in these modern times of Fundamental Rights, I believe men need to assert for their rights to equality. We are losing ground fast, really fast.

Couple of months back, SC said, ‘biwi jo kehti hai woh sunoh’ (listen to your wife and do as she says). Now Bombay HC gives the woman more rights to even rebuke and insult a man. I don’t know if it allows in front of other people.

A division bench of Justice P B Majumdar and Justice R V More dismissed an application filed by a 33-year-old Pune resident seeking to end his 2003 marriage with his wife, with whom he has lived for barely 20 months.

“The husband should not have been so sensitive even if a few words were uttered by the wife,” the judges said. “In family life, between a husband and wife, occasionally there may be some exchange of wit, anger, jokes or satire; that itself may not be treated as an act of cruelty,” the judges remarked, saying this could not be grounds for dissolution of the marriage.

I know women have better understanding of society, people and managing household and in turn lives. God has blessed women with their dynamic nature. But still that does not mean, that men should be frowned upon. They need their share of respect from the society.

Please My Lord (an appeal to our Hon’ble Judges), Kindly look at the plight of men than pity. Rather they should advise and say, KISS and make up.

Some tips for Arranged marriage

Arranged marriage
There are times in a person’s life when he needs to take crucial decisions on his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life. The mere thought of this is very frightening.

Some of the questions that crop up are –
 What sort of a girl do I marry?
 Will she adjust in my family?
 How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times?
 When should I get married?
 This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I make a mistake?
…. so on and so forth…
I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections.

The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage

Rule 1 – Magic no. 28
In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of pressure on the girl’s to get married by the time they become 24-25.

Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.

Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, “I will marry when I settle down”.

Rule 2 -- Subset of marriage-able girls
At times you hear statements like, “I am not getting the right match, I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then”. Well the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. From this subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given time, the variety & number of marriage-able girls are fixed.

Rule 3 – Competition for girls
Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls. In my own case, I was rejected by girls. So, if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working, very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry Aishwarya Rai, but then for all Ashs in the world, there are many Salman Khans who also want to marry them. So, set your expectations accordingly.

Rule 4 -- Understanding girls
You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, its difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I am still trying to understand my wife… ;-)..

Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your parents/ friends & latest technologies like email/ chat to choose your girl.

Rule 5 – Society expectation
The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can’t meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.

Rule 6 -- Marriage between equals
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl’s family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family values & caste/ religion plays a major role. Its important to note that in case there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.

Rule 7 – Know yourself
Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall in love. So, it’s very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, “Opposite attract”, while they also say, “Bird of same feather flock together”. So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the perfect girl, but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for. The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection. Don’t forget rule no.3 here.

Rule 8 -- Girl’s Beauty
A girl’s looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb blonde. It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl’s looks are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria. Later on it life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this topic.

Rule 9 -- Taking advice
As I have mentioned in the next rule, it’s very important that the final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don’t do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well wishers. Secondly, in such important matters its necessary that you analyze all possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others’ advice, but don’t forget to take their advice.

Rule 10 -- Own decision
All said & done, it’s your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music. Don’t marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don’t work out & you end up saying, “It’s because of my friends or my parents that I married you”, then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for whatever happens. That’s when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that you marriage the girl of your choice.

How to approach the selection process?
From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a minimum of 3 months.

The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:
Definition phase -- Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans.

Remember the Rule 3 here.
Lead Generation phase -- Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means of getting biodatas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.

Short listing phase – Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting biodatas. The general process followed for correspondence is as follows:
 The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/ herself
 Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope
 The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for similar information
 The receiver send similar information
 If the biodata is selected, it is passed over to the next phase
 Casual interaction phase – Based on shortlisting, about 7 to 10 biodatas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then interact for 10 – 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through email/ chat.
 Family interaction phase – Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background information about the families to find mutual compatibility.
 The dating phase – Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star, what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on her responses.
 The D-day phase – Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.

Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of you.

A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the age-old virtue,
“Never do anything to others that you don’t like for yourself”.
Enjoy the selection process, it is fun…. ;-) ..