Its certainly not about Cricket

Lalit Modi has proved that he is the best player in the cricketing world post the success of IPL-2 in South Africa. But the IPL-3 made us realize is that it is the most dangerous sports/business to be in and how shady the character of Lalit Modi is. Comparisons are being drawn between Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor. There cannot be any comparisons between the two. Shashi Tharoor has been clean bowled or perhaps retired hurt by Lalit Modi, when he was just supporting a spectator. Lalit Modi was also not found on the field. So you know Lalu Parekh (Lalit Modi’s name in the book, The GameChangers by Fake IBL Player) decides even who can support which team.

Personally I am in awe of Lalit Modi, he can hit sixes at any ball or clean bowl any batsman as and when he wants. Last year, he was in virtual fist fight with our Hon’ble Home Minister, Mr. P. Chidambaran. Jaipur ground could not host its fair share of matches as Modi was not appointed on Rajasthan cricket board. One of the friends wrote on his facebook status, “Conveniently, Low intensity blasts outside Bangalore cricket grounds to shift the venue to Mumbai”, inspite of Lalubhai claiming water tight security measures for the tourney. Now he has clean-bowled Shashi Tharoor. It’s difficult to manage bollywood stars, cricketers (the most spoilt breed of humans in India), not only from India but across the nations and last but not the least, the politicians (of course, Mr. Pawar would have helped him in taking care of this aspect).

Everybody is talking about money Modi’s is making. I believe he is getting peanuts for his job and the money which changes hands during the tourney. A rough palpable figure may be close to a $ 1 billion every year without taking into account the money involved in match fixing and betting. In India, you are never paid for your job. You have to make your own ways to make money. I know, it sounds illegal.

Most of the sports/casino (gambling related) businesses are run through Cayman Islands, Bahamas. In India, Mauritius is famous as majority of the times Mauritius is the first place for cash outflows and last place for cash inflows and from there on, it travels to other tax havens. Nobody can get the identity of the persons owning the businesses in these tax havens.

Lalit Modi is a very illustrious and powerful person. He has a very healthy, wealthy and colourful lifestyle. I ask, why it shouldn’t be? He belongs to the Modi family, one of the most influential business families in post independent era of India. He had his share of college masti and was arrested for possession of cocaine and assaulting charges. The difference between criminal and non-criminal is a criminal is caught with his wrong doings. Modi seems to be suffering from his old college days. He has again been caught. Proving the theories will be little difficult. Personally, we shoudn’t, that’s his personal choice. Allegedly he has married his mum’s friend. He (age 47) is already a grandfather. I don’t know whether you should call it step or not. His wife’s child from first marriage has a daughter. His issues with Mr. Tharoor started due to Gabreilla. Gabreilla is seen at IPL parties. Lalubhai was soon to be immortalized by the cricket fraternity.

Mr. Shashi Tharoor was once contesting for the top post of Secretary General, UN. He is widely acclaimed for his works and thoughts across the world. For years, he had been representing India at the UN. He was the voice and the image of India. His recent designation was an understatement of his accolades and achievements. With all his knowledge and wisdom, how he got involved is a mystery? The New Age Politician, the unofficial ambassador of Twitter or to some extent of the digital medium is spending less time digitizing and more time for apologizing for his love for the digital world. Had he or not, perhaps or maybe he may now get closer to Sunanda Pushkar.

Mr. Tharoor has lost his job. Lalit Modi is pipped to lose his job.
What is the whole issue about?
Who is responsible for how much?
Had Rendezvous given sweat equity to Salman Khan instead of Sunanda Pushkar, would have been better?
Is it relationship of Shashi Tharoor with Sunanda Pushkar?
Is it about betting?
Is it about money laundering?
Is it about Lalit Modi having stake in three different IPL teams?
Is it some other power strife among our Hon’ble Congress men?
Is it about cricket?

I believed sports are a peace and good will maker. But this IPL is nothing about cricket/sports. It is not even about the game. It’s all about the controversies. Who grabs the maximum headlines or photo-ops? We are witnessing a test match in T20 format.

BCCI is mum over the whole issue. They want to take over ICC and be the authority of cricket globally. It’s like Americans bombing Iraq for no reason or plan.
So many questions, yet there are no answers. Except for the fact, it is certainly not about CRICKET.

Future of IPL

Just a forward - too hilarious

As Napoleon Nayudu prepared to face another ball, several thoughts raced through his mind. After being bought by the Gummidipoondi Gumboils for an astronomical $5 million in the 2015 Indian Premier League (IPL) auction, he knew he had a reputation to keep up. Should he try a straightforward Toyota Front Foot Drive this time, or should he aim for a Bombay Dyeing Cover Drive ? Or perhaps an ITC Square Cut (Statutory warning: Smoking is Injurious to Health) would be a better idea? He realised he needed to hit an IBM boundary soon. Ever since IBM had announced they would pay Rs 1 lakh per boundary and Rs 5 lakh for a six, he had been trying to run less and hit more. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been doing either in this match, because the Begusarai Bandits had some very good bowlers. The next ball, he played a Pepsi Inside Edge onto his Maggi middle stump and trudged wearily off the field to the accompaniment of boos from the Vodafone Zoozoo stand at the Kellogg’s Special K-Cereal stadium in Gummidipoondi.

Relaxing in the Parle Glucose commentary box, Saurav Ganguly ruminated on the momentous changes in the game that had occurred since the IPL came into being. In 2010, he remembered, the game started to really grow, with huge sums of money being paid for the Pune and Kochi teams. Teams soon started springing up like frogs in the monsoon. And when the Gorakhpur Gorillas won the IPL in 2012, every district town in the country wanted its own side.

The IPL season was extended to six months in the year, then to 12 months and soon, once the villages started having their own sides, you had matches on all 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Industrialists sold off their old companies and bought IPL teams. Twenty five of the 30 Sensex stocks were of cricketing companies. Advertisers fought with each other to sponsor matches, stadiums, sixes, fours, shots, balls, wickets and what not. Every patch of the players’ clothing, his arm guard, helmet, and pads was covered in advertisements. Tendulkar Itch Guard Crotch Guards started a new trend in merchandising, selling like hot cakes.

As the money flowed in, players’ salaries zoomed. Everybody wanted to be a cricketer. Engineering and medical colleges were deserted and Indian Institutes of Management converted themselves into institutes of cricketing management. C.K. Prahalad lectured on the pot of gold at the bottom of the leg stump.

Meanwhile, Finance Minister Lalit Modi mooted a radical proposal in the Lok Sabha for nationalising the Board of Control for Cricket in India , pointing out that its profits would wipe out the government’s fiscal deficit. Food production had suffered, he said, as villagers refused to till their fields and spent their time playing cricket instead. A law prohibiting the transformation of arable land into cricket pitches was swiftly passed. A resolution to install a statue of Lalit Modi in Parliament was also adopted unanimously.

Back in the commentary box, Ganguly did a rapid mental calculation and told his listeners that Napoleon was now being paid the equivalent of Rs 10 lakh per run. A twinge of regret passed through him — during the IPL season in 2010, he recalled, he had been paid only about Rs 1.8 lakh per run. He needed to make more money, he thought. Maybe he would join Navjot Sidhu in The Great Indian Laughter Challenge and be paid lakhs for laughing. For the rest of the match, he practised laughing hysterically at each ball.

Royalty still has chance

To be successful in Indian television broadcasting market and make oodles of money, design or copy a reality show. But the Manoranjan ka baap or Enterntainment ki saas, IPL beats everything when it is compared to any other show on television. Ekta Kapoor made us believe that we are a bunch of sadists, schadenfreudes who just love tears. Inspite of all the drama, brouhaha and the bullshit enveloping IPL, there are no tears in IPL. We don’t need a bag of tissue box, just a beer and some munchies.

Lalit Modi blames, Shah Rukh will dance naked, Shilpa will kiss, Preity will hug, cheers will glow, it is undisputed mother of all reality shows. External Affairs Minister is on the verge of losing his job. Agriculture Minister was briefing for Ms. Pushkar, some model, owner, who danced, ramp walked, marketed, owned, God knows what; during the harvesting season (Baisakhi). The only difference between IPL and all other reality shows is the choice of winner is not demanded (shown, fabricated – without getting into the specifics) by an SMS.

Is IPL also a scripted story like reality shows to add more drama and action for the viewers to watch? Well I know I am staring at the Yorkers and batting without the Gaurd. To say a little about T-20 format, its just the matter of how many sixes you can hit or wickets you can pluck in 15th to 18th over for any team who wishes to win, especially when playing second innings. This year, it seems the matches results have been designed keeping in mind the egos or the deep pockets of the team owners.

But then after 50 odd matches (yeah 49 to be precise) and only seven games left for the Semi-Finals, we are still working out the probabilities about who may stand a chance to enter the SEMIs. Only Mumbai Indians will certainly play in SEMIs and Kings XI is playing only for deriving the valuation figures for its owners and for the semis, they can dream about IPL-4.

The other six teams are still hanging whether they will or will not qualify for the SEMIs. I’d say the same even for Bangalore, although they are on No. 2 in the points tally, with only one game left and if Deepika and Katrina don’t come to cheer and clap for the team together, they might be shaking their heads at No. 6 position. Bangalore has better chances for SEMIs, compared to other probabilities. RCB will be facing MI for its final league match. Still five teams end up hoarding up for 2nd, 3rd and 4th position.

Rajasthan Royals, I am pretty bored of Royalty people around me. They have bored me to death, analysis, permutations, combinations, cheers, facebook, twitter, everywhere everything revolves around Royalty. As if Shilpa will dance for each one of them, if they win. Still I’d suggest them not to lose hopes, if Royalty pays off in their last match and other teams lose and win in the right manner (averages matter), they may see Yusuf Pathan (after hitting two sixes) getting out once more. They will be praying for better performance from Kings XI.

Delhi Daredevils has both matches against teams who are also vouching for a position in the SEMIs, so those will be nail biting matches.

Shah Rukh Khan has accepted his team’s failure, which means the team has been instructed not to play well for the upcoming matches. But if they wish to reach SEMIs and win both the matches, SRK may have to dance naked.

CSK and Deccan have both, two matches against Delhi and Kings XI. Lets see how much charge devils can dare to or super kings swipe the devils who dare or Kings XI continues with its Pawn XI strategy.

Hope rajasthan proves their royalty sums. Knight Riders truly shows that they know how to ride like Knights even when royalty is deducted and Indians don’t cheer. Until then just watch how royal is the challenge to the Indians.

Whether the permutations/combinations work or don’t will be sorted out in a week’s time, until then the Creative Producer/Writer/Director (Lalit Modi) is the only person enjoying his time on the show.