Reproduced from www.timesofindia.com
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life/relationships/man-woman/Semi-boyfriend-DTR-/articleshow/5568943.cms
It's that time of the year. Love is in the air, on the cards, in your face, everywhere. Except where it's meant to be. Going by the lingo that's popular these days, that crazy lil' thing called love is all set to be e-dumped ...
IT'S COMPLICATED
When butterflies flutter in two stomachs and even friendly high fives send electric shocks to the heart, how does one explain the status when there is no official acknowledgement or exchange of the L-word ?
The creators of Facebook should be given a medal for pioneering a clever answer to this perplexing question: It's Complicated. The best part is that it's open-ended and can take any meaning you'd like it to take. In fact, it's probably more versatile than Naseeruddin Shah. Not only can it articulate the ambiguous state between friendship and being in a relationship, it can also be used to indicate that a relationship is in the gutter. For some pathetic relationship addicts, it's a perfect cover when they're afraid of being called single.
SEMI-BOYFRIEND /GIRLFRIEND
This relationship status is based on Newton's first law of inertia. It is usually used to denote a potential girlfriend or boyfriend. The potential could have risen from one-sided love and, in some cases, two-sided lust. The semi-boyfriend / girlfriend could be a great friend who you care about, but are not horribly attracted to. It's not unimaginable to see yourself with the semi-boyfriend /girlfriend. It's a stage defined by contemplation, where you're constantly in two minds. "He's a lovely person but might not be the one, she's a great girl but I might look better with someone hotter." Experts say that if this stage exceeds its trial period, there is danger of it never ending.
DTR (DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP)
DTR is the dream of every smitten semiboyfriend /girlfriend. It's when cuddly movies and cosy dinners are interrupted by 'the conversation' . It's usually a loaded exercise of compartmentalisation. Are we friends? Are we friends with benefits? Or are we seeing each other? The idea is to provide clarity on the relationship status and especially on the issue of monogamy. DTR could sneak up on you anywhere: in the parking lot, in a packed party and even a movie theatre. Experts say that the highest number of instances have been recorded at sit-down dinners. There's nothing romantic about it, it's pure negotiation.
GOING UNSTEADY
Back in the 1990s, 'going steady' was a wideeyed expression to suggest that two people were seeing each other. The fact that the college stud mostly rode a bike gave it all the more legitimacy. Some mummies and aunties still love to sprinkle gossip with 'going steady' .
But we are now in 2010 and you're more likely to hear 'Going Unsteady' . It's the logical opposite of 'going steady' , and translates into a relationship being on the rocks and is usually the sequel to 'It's Complicated' . It's an announcement of the possibility of opening up to other options to make sure that the exboyfriend and ex-girlfriend are on their toes.
SHE'S HYPHENATED
How does one tell whether a woman is single or married? No need to rudely stare at her chest in search of a mangalsutra or grab her hand to check if she's wearing a ring. Just ask her name. Gitanjali Shah-Chopra ? Dude, she's hyphenated. Time to make a run for the nearest door. More and more married women today love to add a double barrel in their names: name, maiden surname-husband's surname. The noble cause behind the widespread hyper hyphenation is to not lose one's maiden individuality, but it's also doubling up as a handy tool for ring detection.
NEAR-SIGHTED DATE
When the search for a soulmate went virtual, the erstwhile blind date was elbowed out by the nearsighted date. Now prospective lovers would rather spend time enlarging thumbnail display pictures than rely on imagination and God's grace. When two people who have been flirting online finally meet face to face, the guy doesn't need to be wearing a red tie to be spotted in the crowd and the girl can also leave her red dress at home. But even if the intention is to induce the love bug, several near-sighted daters have reported that it could lead to disappointment because of misleading documentation. In one case, the profile picture of a near-sighter was three years younger, 10 kg less and five hair colours old.
E-DUMP
This new-age phenomenon usually follows a nearsighted date gone wrong. Flirting is brought to an abrupt halt, suddenly the exnear-sighter is repulsive. That's when one ping is employed to pull the flush on the relationship. Sometimes, e-dump can also be expanded to include text messages.
Those who have been e-dumped say that this is the worst kind of dumping and e-dumpers don't have the courage to dump face-to-face and are afraid of confrontation. But several e-dumpers say that it's the simplest way to pull the plug on an unwanted relationship because it's simple, quick and doesn't involve tears.
ATTENTION WHORE
The Attention Whore is like the plague, can often spread through exposure to a contaminated person. Symptoms include being uncomfortable in situations where one is not the centre of attention, inappropriate sexual behaviour, bipolar display of emotions, self-dramatisation , animated expressions and considering relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.
In the online world, the status message is an important weapon of mass destruction and in the offline world, tools like physical intrusions into parallel conversations are commonly employed. Beware! The Attention Whore steps her game up in the run-up to Valentine's Day.
ENRAGEMENT RING
The enragement ring is a piece of jewellery, typically a ring, that is purchased for a girlfriend in an effort to make her happy after an ugly fight. It's whipped out when animosity is at its peak. It's produced when sweet gestures have been scoffed at and phone calls rudely cut. It's used when the only hope to salvage the situation is the enragement ring. Sometimes the enragement ring is embossed with a witty or snappy personal message. Enragement ring addicts swear that it works like a charm but the key is to not use it too often.
BUSINESS SHOWER
When you're married, employed and late for work, take a shower with your partner. This is not a recipe to get fired but just another byproduct in the age of DINKs. The business shower is about saving time (and water) and is entirely devoid of any sexual connotation. Two people zip into the bathroom, do their deal and zip out with equal ease and casualness. Romance can be kept on hold because a man's got to do what a man's got to do and a working woman's got to do the same.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life/relationships/man-woman/Semi-boyfriend-DTR-/articleshow/5568943.cms
It's that time of the year. Love is in the air, on the cards, in your face, everywhere. Except where it's meant to be. Going by the lingo that's popular these days, that crazy lil' thing called love is all set to be e-dumped ...
IT'S COMPLICATED
When butterflies flutter in two stomachs and even friendly high fives send electric shocks to the heart, how does one explain the status when there is no official acknowledgement or exchange of the L-word ?
The creators of Facebook should be given a medal for pioneering a clever answer to this perplexing question: It's Complicated. The best part is that it's open-ended and can take any meaning you'd like it to take. In fact, it's probably more versatile than Naseeruddin Shah. Not only can it articulate the ambiguous state between friendship and being in a relationship, it can also be used to indicate that a relationship is in the gutter. For some pathetic relationship addicts, it's a perfect cover when they're afraid of being called single.
SEMI-BOYFRIEND /GIRLFRIEND
This relationship status is based on Newton's first law of inertia. It is usually used to denote a potential girlfriend or boyfriend. The potential could have risen from one-sided love and, in some cases, two-sided lust. The semi-boyfriend / girlfriend could be a great friend who you care about, but are not horribly attracted to. It's not unimaginable to see yourself with the semi-boyfriend /girlfriend. It's a stage defined by contemplation, where you're constantly in two minds. "He's a lovely person but might not be the one, she's a great girl but I might look better with someone hotter." Experts say that if this stage exceeds its trial period, there is danger of it never ending.
DTR (DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP)
DTR is the dream of every smitten semiboyfriend /girlfriend. It's when cuddly movies and cosy dinners are interrupted by 'the conversation' . It's usually a loaded exercise of compartmentalisation. Are we friends? Are we friends with benefits? Or are we seeing each other? The idea is to provide clarity on the relationship status and especially on the issue of monogamy. DTR could sneak up on you anywhere: in the parking lot, in a packed party and even a movie theatre. Experts say that the highest number of instances have been recorded at sit-down dinners. There's nothing romantic about it, it's pure negotiation.
GOING UNSTEADY
Back in the 1990s, 'going steady' was a wideeyed expression to suggest that two people were seeing each other. The fact that the college stud mostly rode a bike gave it all the more legitimacy. Some mummies and aunties still love to sprinkle gossip with 'going steady' .
But we are now in 2010 and you're more likely to hear 'Going Unsteady' . It's the logical opposite of 'going steady' , and translates into a relationship being on the rocks and is usually the sequel to 'It's Complicated' . It's an announcement of the possibility of opening up to other options to make sure that the exboyfriend and ex-girlfriend are on their toes.
SHE'S HYPHENATED
How does one tell whether a woman is single or married? No need to rudely stare at her chest in search of a mangalsutra or grab her hand to check if she's wearing a ring. Just ask her name. Gitanjali Shah-Chopra ? Dude, she's hyphenated. Time to make a run for the nearest door. More and more married women today love to add a double barrel in their names: name, maiden surname-husband's surname. The noble cause behind the widespread hyper hyphenation is to not lose one's maiden individuality, but it's also doubling up as a handy tool for ring detection.
NEAR-SIGHTED DATE
When the search for a soulmate went virtual, the erstwhile blind date was elbowed out by the nearsighted date. Now prospective lovers would rather spend time enlarging thumbnail display pictures than rely on imagination and God's grace. When two people who have been flirting online finally meet face to face, the guy doesn't need to be wearing a red tie to be spotted in the crowd and the girl can also leave her red dress at home. But even if the intention is to induce the love bug, several near-sighted daters have reported that it could lead to disappointment because of misleading documentation. In one case, the profile picture of a near-sighter was three years younger, 10 kg less and five hair colours old.
E-DUMP
This new-age phenomenon usually follows a nearsighted date gone wrong. Flirting is brought to an abrupt halt, suddenly the exnear-sighter is repulsive. That's when one ping is employed to pull the flush on the relationship. Sometimes, e-dump can also be expanded to include text messages.
Those who have been e-dumped say that this is the worst kind of dumping and e-dumpers don't have the courage to dump face-to-face and are afraid of confrontation. But several e-dumpers say that it's the simplest way to pull the plug on an unwanted relationship because it's simple, quick and doesn't involve tears.
ATTENTION WHORE
The Attention Whore is like the plague, can often spread through exposure to a contaminated person. Symptoms include being uncomfortable in situations where one is not the centre of attention, inappropriate sexual behaviour, bipolar display of emotions, self-dramatisation , animated expressions and considering relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.
In the online world, the status message is an important weapon of mass destruction and in the offline world, tools like physical intrusions into parallel conversations are commonly employed. Beware! The Attention Whore steps her game up in the run-up to Valentine's Day.
ENRAGEMENT RING
The enragement ring is a piece of jewellery, typically a ring, that is purchased for a girlfriend in an effort to make her happy after an ugly fight. It's whipped out when animosity is at its peak. It's produced when sweet gestures have been scoffed at and phone calls rudely cut. It's used when the only hope to salvage the situation is the enragement ring. Sometimes the enragement ring is embossed with a witty or snappy personal message. Enragement ring addicts swear that it works like a charm but the key is to not use it too often.
BUSINESS SHOWER
When you're married, employed and late for work, take a shower with your partner. This is not a recipe to get fired but just another byproduct in the age of DINKs. The business shower is about saving time (and water) and is entirely devoid of any sexual connotation. Two people zip into the bathroom, do their deal and zip out with equal ease and casualness. Romance can be kept on hold because a man's got to do what a man's got to do and a working woman's got to do the same.
