Bhajji ... dum hai

Only a Sardar can do it. Hugging the richest man's woman of India.

Bhajji U rock...........

Its certainly not about Cricket

Lalit Modi has proved that he is the best player in the cricketing world post the success of IPL-2 in South Africa. But the IPL-3 made us realize is that it is the most dangerous sports/business to be in and how shady the character of Lalit Modi is. Comparisons are being drawn between Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor. There cannot be any comparisons between the two. Shashi Tharoor has been clean bowled or perhaps retired hurt by Lalit Modi, when he was just supporting a spectator. Lalit Modi was also not found on the field. So you know Lalu Parekh (Lalit Modi’s name in the book, The GameChangers by Fake IBL Player) decides even who can support which team.

Personally I am in awe of Lalit Modi, he can hit sixes at any ball or clean bowl any batsman as and when he wants. Last year, he was in virtual fist fight with our Hon’ble Home Minister, Mr. P. Chidambaran. Jaipur ground could not host its fair share of matches as Modi was not appointed on Rajasthan cricket board. One of the friends wrote on his facebook status, “Conveniently, Low intensity blasts outside Bangalore cricket grounds to shift the venue to Mumbai”, inspite of Lalubhai claiming water tight security measures for the tourney. Now he has clean-bowled Shashi Tharoor. It’s difficult to manage bollywood stars, cricketers (the most spoilt breed of humans in India), not only from India but across the nations and last but not the least, the politicians (of course, Mr. Pawar would have helped him in taking care of this aspect).

Everybody is talking about money Modi’s is making. I believe he is getting peanuts for his job and the money which changes hands during the tourney. A rough palpable figure may be close to a $ 1 billion every year without taking into account the money involved in match fixing and betting. In India, you are never paid for your job. You have to make your own ways to make money. I know, it sounds illegal.

Most of the sports/casino (gambling related) businesses are run through Cayman Islands, Bahamas. In India, Mauritius is famous as majority of the times Mauritius is the first place for cash outflows and last place for cash inflows and from there on, it travels to other tax havens. Nobody can get the identity of the persons owning the businesses in these tax havens.

Lalit Modi is a very illustrious and powerful person. He has a very healthy, wealthy and colourful lifestyle. I ask, why it shouldn’t be? He belongs to the Modi family, one of the most influential business families in post independent era of India. He had his share of college masti and was arrested for possession of cocaine and assaulting charges. The difference between criminal and non-criminal is a criminal is caught with his wrong doings. Modi seems to be suffering from his old college days. He has again been caught. Proving the theories will be little difficult. Personally, we shoudn’t, that’s his personal choice. Allegedly he has married his mum’s friend. He (age 47) is already a grandfather. I don’t know whether you should call it step or not. His wife’s child from first marriage has a daughter. His issues with Mr. Tharoor started due to Gabreilla. Gabreilla is seen at IPL parties. Lalubhai was soon to be immortalized by the cricket fraternity.

Mr. Shashi Tharoor was once contesting for the top post of Secretary General, UN. He is widely acclaimed for his works and thoughts across the world. For years, he had been representing India at the UN. He was the voice and the image of India. His recent designation was an understatement of his accolades and achievements. With all his knowledge and wisdom, how he got involved is a mystery? The New Age Politician, the unofficial ambassador of Twitter or to some extent of the digital medium is spending less time digitizing and more time for apologizing for his love for the digital world. Had he or not, perhaps or maybe he may now get closer to Sunanda Pushkar.

Mr. Tharoor has lost his job. Lalit Modi is pipped to lose his job.
What is the whole issue about?
Who is responsible for how much?
Had Rendezvous given sweat equity to Salman Khan instead of Sunanda Pushkar, would have been better?
Is it relationship of Shashi Tharoor with Sunanda Pushkar?
Is it about betting?
Is it about money laundering?
Is it about Lalit Modi having stake in three different IPL teams?
Is it some other power strife among our Hon’ble Congress men?
Is it about cricket?

I believed sports are a peace and good will maker. But this IPL is nothing about cricket/sports. It is not even about the game. It’s all about the controversies. Who grabs the maximum headlines or photo-ops? We are witnessing a test match in T20 format.

BCCI is mum over the whole issue. They want to take over ICC and be the authority of cricket globally. It’s like Americans bombing Iraq for no reason or plan.
So many questions, yet there are no answers. Except for the fact, it is certainly not about CRICKET.

Its boring to be ADULT

Today I felt vindicated after spending one week in water, I was able to float in water. Though swimming still seems a distant dream. But soon it will be a reality. My friends are shouting on top of their voices, you are paying 2 grands just for taking bath in a swimming pool. But now I am confident, I have somehow fought with my inhibitions to swim.

Schools have just started and there are dozens of kids splashing water with their hands and legs. Totally disconnected from the world, whether or not, they wish/will learn to swim, they are hardly bothered. Why can’t I get my days back of innocence/ignorance?

And in the showers, the coordinator announces, your next period can also be dedicated to swimming. Everybody is clapping, shouting, as if Aishwarya has been crowned Miss World for the second time. My friend is smiling at me and tells, quick, we are getting late for office. And I ask him, will you feel the same if your boss calls and tells you, you can come an hour late to the office. He says, your question has boss and office in it? I get numb when I hear from boss and feel too bored to go to office. It only adds to the already boring life we are leading, forget about the happiness. If the card does not meet its master (the swipe machine), I am always bothered about losing my half day’s salary. So there is no scope of excitement to arise because of the constant fear in my mind. Dude, I don’t know, whether we are struggling for peace of mind or fighting against time. Either ways, both are hard to achieve.

Why cant we grown ups feel the same kind of joy and excitement as kids do, on such small-small things in our life? My neighbours’ son, had always only one concern after returning home from school in the afternoon, I should stay away from my house for next six hours. My mom bothers me to finish my home work. Homework or perhaps teacher’s spanking was the only concern in our life. Now, there are so many people for whom we are planning/scheming and yet not achieve anything. Everything boils down to the fact how much you are earning. (More on that sometime later)

Future of IPL

Just a forward - too hilarious

As Napoleon Nayudu prepared to face another ball, several thoughts raced through his mind. After being bought by the Gummidipoondi Gumboils for an astronomical $5 million in the 2015 Indian Premier League (IPL) auction, he knew he had a reputation to keep up. Should he try a straightforward Toyota Front Foot Drive this time, or should he aim for a Bombay Dyeing Cover Drive ? Or perhaps an ITC Square Cut (Statutory warning: Smoking is Injurious to Health) would be a better idea? He realised he needed to hit an IBM boundary soon. Ever since IBM had announced they would pay Rs 1 lakh per boundary and Rs 5 lakh for a six, he had been trying to run less and hit more. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been doing either in this match, because the Begusarai Bandits had some very good bowlers. The next ball, he played a Pepsi Inside Edge onto his Maggi middle stump and trudged wearily off the field to the accompaniment of boos from the Vodafone Zoozoo stand at the Kellogg’s Special K-Cereal stadium in Gummidipoondi.

Relaxing in the Parle Glucose commentary box, Saurav Ganguly ruminated on the momentous changes in the game that had occurred since the IPL came into being. In 2010, he remembered, the game started to really grow, with huge sums of money being paid for the Pune and Kochi teams. Teams soon started springing up like frogs in the monsoon. And when the Gorakhpur Gorillas won the IPL in 2012, every district town in the country wanted its own side.

The IPL season was extended to six months in the year, then to 12 months and soon, once the villages started having their own sides, you had matches on all 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Industrialists sold off their old companies and bought IPL teams. Twenty five of the 30 Sensex stocks were of cricketing companies. Advertisers fought with each other to sponsor matches, stadiums, sixes, fours, shots, balls, wickets and what not. Every patch of the players’ clothing, his arm guard, helmet, and pads was covered in advertisements. Tendulkar Itch Guard Crotch Guards started a new trend in merchandising, selling like hot cakes.

As the money flowed in, players’ salaries zoomed. Everybody wanted to be a cricketer. Engineering and medical colleges were deserted and Indian Institutes of Management converted themselves into institutes of cricketing management. C.K. Prahalad lectured on the pot of gold at the bottom of the leg stump.

Meanwhile, Finance Minister Lalit Modi mooted a radical proposal in the Lok Sabha for nationalising the Board of Control for Cricket in India , pointing out that its profits would wipe out the government’s fiscal deficit. Food production had suffered, he said, as villagers refused to till their fields and spent their time playing cricket instead. A law prohibiting the transformation of arable land into cricket pitches was swiftly passed. A resolution to install a statue of Lalit Modi in Parliament was also adopted unanimously.

Back in the commentary box, Ganguly did a rapid mental calculation and told his listeners that Napoleon was now being paid the equivalent of Rs 10 lakh per run. A twinge of regret passed through him — during the IPL season in 2010, he recalled, he had been paid only about Rs 1.8 lakh per run. He needed to make more money, he thought. Maybe he would join Navjot Sidhu in The Great Indian Laughter Challenge and be paid lakhs for laughing. For the rest of the match, he practised laughing hysterically at each ball.

Royalty still has chance

To be successful in Indian television broadcasting market and make oodles of money, design or copy a reality show. But the Manoranjan ka baap or Enterntainment ki saas, IPL beats everything when it is compared to any other show on television. Ekta Kapoor made us believe that we are a bunch of sadists, schadenfreudes who just love tears. Inspite of all the drama, brouhaha and the bullshit enveloping IPL, there are no tears in IPL. We don’t need a bag of tissue box, just a beer and some munchies.

Lalit Modi blames, Shah Rukh will dance naked, Shilpa will kiss, Preity will hug, cheers will glow, it is undisputed mother of all reality shows. External Affairs Minister is on the verge of losing his job. Agriculture Minister was briefing for Ms. Pushkar, some model, owner, who danced, ramp walked, marketed, owned, God knows what; during the harvesting season (Baisakhi). The only difference between IPL and all other reality shows is the choice of winner is not demanded (shown, fabricated – without getting into the specifics) by an SMS.

Is IPL also a scripted story like reality shows to add more drama and action for the viewers to watch? Well I know I am staring at the Yorkers and batting without the Gaurd. To say a little about T-20 format, its just the matter of how many sixes you can hit or wickets you can pluck in 15th to 18th over for any team who wishes to win, especially when playing second innings. This year, it seems the matches results have been designed keeping in mind the egos or the deep pockets of the team owners.

But then after 50 odd matches (yeah 49 to be precise) and only seven games left for the Semi-Finals, we are still working out the probabilities about who may stand a chance to enter the SEMIs. Only Mumbai Indians will certainly play in SEMIs and Kings XI is playing only for deriving the valuation figures for its owners and for the semis, they can dream about IPL-4.

The other six teams are still hanging whether they will or will not qualify for the SEMIs. I’d say the same even for Bangalore, although they are on No. 2 in the points tally, with only one game left and if Deepika and Katrina don’t come to cheer and clap for the team together, they might be shaking their heads at No. 6 position. Bangalore has better chances for SEMIs, compared to other probabilities. RCB will be facing MI for its final league match. Still five teams end up hoarding up for 2nd, 3rd and 4th position.

Rajasthan Royals, I am pretty bored of Royalty people around me. They have bored me to death, analysis, permutations, combinations, cheers, facebook, twitter, everywhere everything revolves around Royalty. As if Shilpa will dance for each one of them, if they win. Still I’d suggest them not to lose hopes, if Royalty pays off in their last match and other teams lose and win in the right manner (averages matter), they may see Yusuf Pathan (after hitting two sixes) getting out once more. They will be praying for better performance from Kings XI.

Delhi Daredevils has both matches against teams who are also vouching for a position in the SEMIs, so those will be nail biting matches.

Shah Rukh Khan has accepted his team’s failure, which means the team has been instructed not to play well for the upcoming matches. But if they wish to reach SEMIs and win both the matches, SRK may have to dance naked.

CSK and Deccan have both, two matches against Delhi and Kings XI. Lets see how much charge devils can dare to or super kings swipe the devils who dare or Kings XI continues with its Pawn XI strategy.

Hope rajasthan proves their royalty sums. Knight Riders truly shows that they know how to ride like Knights even when royalty is deducted and Indians don’t cheer. Until then just watch how royal is the challenge to the Indians.

Whether the permutations/combinations work or don’t will be sorted out in a week’s time, until then the Creative Producer/Writer/Director (Lalit Modi) is the only person enjoying his time on the show.

Where have all the good guys gone?

Pritish Nandy Blog write in Times of India

I was born into a world without villains. The British had left India. We were a free nation. There were many heroes: Gandhi, Subhash Bose, Sri Aurobindo, Nehru, Sardar Patel, Maulana Azad, Ambedkar. Remarkable guys who fought, each in his own way to bring us freedom. A spanking new nation was about to be built. Everyone was excited. It was heady times; it felt great to be an Indian. All our other identities were subsumed.

Yes, there was a bloody Partition. Many had lost their homes and families. Some people were angry, very angry, but that anger was specific. It was directed at those responsible for the bloodshed. It was not free floating rage. No one in those days was stupid enough to confuse Pakistanis with Muslims or the British with Christians. Everyone was anxious to put the past behind and get on with the task of building a new India. Since I grew up in Kolkata I met many people, Hindus and Muslims, who had fled what was then East Pakistan. They were trying hard to rebuild their lives. The locals did not see them as unwelcome immigrants. Instead, they went out of their way to help them. I remember my mother giving her blouses to a refugee woman to embroider even though she could barely afford it on her meagre school teacher’s salary.

There was magic in the air, the magic of nation building. There were dreams that everyone dreamt, of creating a new India where we would all be Indians first. In our living room hung pictures of Rabindranath Tagore, Gandhi, Subhash Bose. My father would proudly tell me stories of the freedom struggle and politicians were then our biggest heroes. No, I never heard of a film star or a cricketer then. We spoke only about politicians and how they would change India. We believed in them. We admired them.

By the time I was in high school things had changed. People were burning buses and trams to protest against a one paisa ticket price rise. It wasn’t actually the price rise. It was free floating rage against being let down by the political class. When I joined college, the best students of my class vanished one day only to surface in Naxalbari fighting for what they saw as a just cause, the rights of the rural poor. I may not have agreed with them but like all young men of the time I believed in the good fight. Student politics in Europe was hotting up. Tariq Ali in England, Daniel Cohn-Bendit in Paris, Rudi Dutschke in Germany inspired the May uprising in Europe. Governments began to feel threatened by youth power. Che was the new idol and young people swore by his vision of a new world. But no, it didn’t take long for disenchantment to set in. Marxism became the God that failed.

It wasn’t only Marxism. Politics failed India. Pictures of politicians in the living rooms disappeared. We read about bloody clashes between political parties, religious groups, castes, communities. Regional issues reared their head. New conflicts emerged. We began to hear of crimes we had never heard before. Suddenly there were villains all around. People we began to hate, who were among us but not one of us. Politics became murky; we began to seek our heroes elsewhere. Actors became stars. So did writers, singers, journalists, sports people. Doctors, teachers, social workers were still respected. Some of them migrated to politics, won elections. But our world without villains had changed forever.

Today we live in a world where villains are everywhere. Politics has more than its share and even though everyone wants to be in politics, the reasons are different. Politics hardly offers nation building opportunities. It offers money, power, pelf. So do some other professions as well but politics is the shortest cut. That’s because at the heart of it lies all pervasive corruption. An honest politician today is as rare as the mountain quail that ornithologist Salim Ali spent his whole life searching for. When I began my life as a journalist, it was possible to expose a corrupt neta and see him sacked or punished. Today, if you expose a corrupt neta, you are more likely to get sacked yourself.

Then there are the other villains around us. Terrorists, extortionists, underworld syndicates, Maoists (often confused with the Naxalites of yore), the khaps who love to murder their own, suicide bombers fighting for lost causes, bigots who beat up young girls for drinking or wearing short dresses, fundamentalists constantly in search of new victims, regional groups who see other Indians as the enemy, book burners, art vandals, hackers, poachers who are wiping out entire animal species, corrupt Government officers, rogue policemen, environmental predators, fake drug manufacturers, the land mafia encroaching on public land in connivance with those who are supposed to protect it. The villains are everywhere, growing by the day. Where have the heroes gone? I often wonder. Where’s the India we once dreamt of?

Shoania

Sania is getting married to Shoaib Malik. The media persons went into a tizzy to find out how the relationship started. But they have little time to dig the story, especially with short notice for marriage. They are busy covering the plethora of issues surrounding the wedding, cricket, tennis, Indo-Pak, visa, Dubai, who will become what, dance, song, mehndi. Everybody is joining, Pakistan Govt., tennis authorities from two nations, moral issues, societal issues, Bal Thackeray. For the first time in Sania’s career, tennis, mini-skirts and her pranky Tee quotes have taken a backseat. Just perception theories whether it’s a clean bowled or an ace, nobody can get a clue.

I believe they have taken a huge step for mankind. India and Pakistan talking politically in the garb of Afghanistan and United States of America, cannot achieve anything. It’s the people from two nations who can bring the change. India should continue to revisit its formalities for the so-called PEACE talks with Pakistan till the next generation arrives. The current generation carries the images of Partition, 1971 War, burnt houses of Hindus in Kashmir, against which it’s difficult to talk peace with anguish in the eyes. Either Pakistan will reach the fate of Afghanistan esp. with the complete access given to United States of America. The moment you give access to Americans, the story is over. In Pakistan, HOPE is despair.

Pakistani tennis authority stated, looking at the moral and societal values of Asians, Sania should play for Pakistan since her husband is from Pakistan. Perhaps for the first time, Pakistan is backing an Indian, fighting for and encouraging an Indian to be called a Pakistani. They would have responded the same had it been the case of Shoaib Malik marrying a Hindu. No …… No….. No……. I will not tread on the religious issues, right now its only about Indo-Pak, superstars and the sports.

Sania did hit the Ace when asked whom she would support India or Pakistan. Would always be cheering for India and supporting my husband for the hard work that he puts in. answered definitely in context to cricket, no political statements from sportpersons. Ayesha angle perhaps has been brought in to deviate the media, consulates and diplomats away from the main point of contention. It’s like American rugby player marrying a Russian gymnast in the Cold War period, read one of my friend’s status messages on Facebook.

The masterstroke is settling in Dubai. After all neutral venue has always been chosen for hosting matches between India and Pakistan. I wish the two LUCK and future ahead. Hope India and Pakistan can take a lesson from the love of two sportsperson. Or perhaps neutral venue will be the solution for India and Pakistan. Till then, we wish to explore the possibility of deriving something like Shoania for India and Pakistan.